Healthy Looks Great on You

Intentional steps for habit change and managing stress with Shelley Fourney

 Have you ever seen a therapist or maybe you've wanted to see a therapist and you haven't? Well, in today's episode, you are going to visit with Shelly Forney, and she is a licensed therapist who specializes in solution focus brief therapy.   Now, I'm not gonna promise that you're going to have all the tools you need to navigate whatever stress is going on in your life, but if you're trying to make a habit change or if you just need a starting place to take those first small steps, you're going to love this interview.
 I'm Dr.Vickie Petz Kasper. If you're ready to take control of your health, you're in the right  place. Whether you're focused on prevention or you're trying to manage a condition. I'll give you practical steps to start your own journey toward better health because healthy looks great on you.  
Shelley is a licensed clinical social worker who practices as an individual therapist. Her favorite thing to dois help people move forward, one little baby step at a time, not big steps.
When people try to manage stress, they tend to plan for the next six months, but Shelley encourages them to think about what needs to happen to get through today. She asks questions to guide people to think about what works for them.
She says, " I'm not an expert on your life, but you are. My job is to ask you good questions help you facilitate what it is you want." 
What works for one person, doesn't necessarily work for another. You are the expert on you, so if someone tells you what you should do about stress, anxiety, sleep and depression, it often doesn't work. 
You don't need 20 tips, you need a solution that works for you. That's what I teach in my sleep course. 
If someone tells you to change a habit, like quit smoking, Shelley asks why it matters to them, not the doctor. Because it has to be important, or they won't be successful. 
Shelley uses Solution Focus Brief therapy. Her approach is to ask her clients, "What do you want?" then she helps them move forward. 
In particularly stressful situations where there's been a loss she tries to help them get through minute by minute, or a week at at time. It's effective and rewarding. 
She recommends starting with what is working in your life. We all have routines that help us stop and head back in the direction we want to do. 
It's not a quick fix, but it can impact your day using tiny steps. 
For someone deep in grief, it might mean getting through the next hour, by accomplishing basic things, like eating and drinking. Shelley views her role as validating the next tiny step they've decided to take. 
She ask really good questions and people come up with solutions and how to change things in their lives. She listens and helps them find things in their life that will work for them. 
When it comes to spinning thoughts, which is a form of feeling anxious, she recommends practicing gratefulness. You can't be anxious and grateful at the same time.
She encourages people to have compassion and grace for themselves. Instead of ruminating, think of it as an opportunity to learn. 
 The hand to heart technique can be used to interrupt spinning thoughts, by simply placing your hand on your shoulder. The act of touching tells our nervous system we are safe and can automatically calm your mind. 
It feels weird at first, but what will you accomplish by negatively talking to yourself? It works.
Set goals that can be pretty easily achieved. Then celebrate small wins. People often set goals that are too big and hard to achieve. Instead, figure out some first steps. If you want to exercise, decide what time of day and what you are going to wear. Pare it down to increase success rather than setting a lofty goal and failing. It's not about where you'd like to be, we are working on that. But what is it for today or this week? Baby steps in the right direction leads to more success.
Form a visual picture of where you'd like to be. What does happy look like to you?
Mental health is often like physical health. One thing causes another thing to be worse, spinning in a vicious cycle. Shelley would prescribe exercise, healthy eating and journaling for all of her clients.
Her practice is called Intentional Steps. Visit her website: www.intentionalsteps.usGo follow Shelley Fourney, Intentional Steps on Facebook and Instagram. She posts really helpful videos. 
  
The information contained in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not considered to be a substitute for medical advice. You should continue to follow up with your physician or health care provider and take medication as prescribed. Though the information in this podcast is evidence based, new research may develop and recommendations may change
 
 

Why do my joints hurt?

 Do you ever feel like the Tin man needing some WD 40 just to get moving? Let's talk about what causes joint pain and how to prevent and treat it.
 I'm Dr.Vickie Petz Kasper. If you're ready to take control of your health, you're in the right  place. Whether you're focused on prevention or you're trying to manage a condition. I'll give you practical steps to start your own journey toward better health because healthy looks great on you. 
Episode 164. Why do my joints hurt?  When I sit for a while the urge to groan when I stand up comes pretty naturally and I'm really trying hard to fight it, but I've put  quite a bit of strain on my joints over the years, and I'm not alone. One in five adults have some form of arthritis.
Back in the day, old people called it rheumatism. I haven't heard that term in a while, but now I am old people. But rheumatism is used synonymously with arthritis. It's a catchall term and it doesn't necessarily refer to rheumatoid arthritis. And listen, there are over 100 different types of arthritis, but today we're only going to focus on osteoarthritis because it's by far the most common affecting over 32 million people in the United States. 
And the prevalence is increasing, making it the third most common disease that is going upward behind high blood pressure and dementia. Grandpa can tell it's going to rain because his rheumatism is acting up, and in fact, damp weather can make arthritis pain flare,  but it's more than just aches and pains. Osteoarthritis is serious. In fact, it's the leading cause of disability in the United States. It's also expensive. The price tag is reported to be over $150 billion a year. Some of that is lost wages and some is because of joint replacement, and it is important to see a doctor and have your pain evaluated.  
Let's go to mini medical school and learn about joints. No, not that kind of joint. Although CBD oil and marijuana have been studied for joint pain and they are effective - every bit as effective as placebo, that  smells like weed. Go figure. But I meant the articulation between bones and other structures that allow us to move. Now that I think about it, the word joint can refer to your banking account, something you smoke, a fastener to hold the roof on your house, or in this case, a place where bones meet.
So let's look at all the players that gather in this meeting place besides bones. You've got ligaments and tendons that hold the joint together, and both of these are strong bands of connective tissue. The ligaments connect bone to bone. And that supports and limits movement while tendons connect muscle to bone and that controls movement.
You've also got cartilage that covers the surface where two or more bones meet and that's designed to reduce friction. You know when two or more are gathered, there's always friction, so you need something to smooth things out. Another structure that helps reduce friction is a fluid filled sac called the bursa, and this is filled with a thick, clear, sticky fluid called synovial fluid that is secreted by the synovial membrane and that lines the joint and seals it into a capsule.
And there are lots of different types of joints besides the ones I mentioned earlier. Some of them move in just one direction, like your elbow, and those are called hinge joints. Others allow rotation like your neck. That's called a pivot joint. Shoulders and hips are the ball and socket joints to allow movement in several directions. And the wrist is similar, but without pivots, so it's called an ellipsoidal joint.
Okay. Now you've completed orthopedics 101. Oh, wait. Since we're discussing osteoarthritis today, you probably need to know that osteo means bone. And you've probably heard people say that they had a knee replacement because it was bone on bone. Well, osteoarthritis occurs when the cartilage is gone, and it's a gradual process that occurs over many years usually.  
You probably know that the biggest risk factor for osteoarthritis is age. But listen, it's not a normal part of aging due to wear and tear, though clearly it can develop where there's been a prior injury. It's hard to think about it when you're young and doing back handsprings or shooting hoops or making tackles, but often those old injuries do eventually catch up with you.
But, even without an injury, repetitive occupational or avocational activities can leave their mark. But get this, being sedentary does its own damage.
Does that mean that runners are destined to ruin their knees? Actually no. Even though they're asking a lot from that three to five millimeter layer of cartilage, genetics plays a role too. So choose your parents very wisely. But even if your parents have osteoarthritis, it doesn't mean that you will, because lifestyle is a huge factor. And since I'm here to talk to you about lifestyle medicine. Let's talk about the things you can control, and we're mostly going to focus on two pillars of lifestyle medicine, and that's physical fitness and diet. 
If you have joint pain, you've got to keep moving because if you stop, you might not be able to start again. Being fit helps with pain and stiffness. It improves your joint mobility, and all of that helps with quality of life, and mood. But here's the deal. Your skeletal system consists of joints, bones, and muscles.
So if people with arthritis don't maintain that musculoskeletal strength, it leads to a whole cascade of events.  Weaker muscles leads to less balance that can result in a decline in function, which leads to less stability and that can result in falls with injuries like brain trauma and hip fractures.
In fact, 95% of hip fractures are caused by falls, and falls are the leading cause of disability and death in seniors and exercise helps prevent falls. Not only does it keep you stronger, it boosts your confidence because oddly enough, people who are afraid of falling actually fall more than the less cautious people.
Now, I'm not telling you to be reckless, but I am suggesting that you exercise. And get this strengthening muscles even reduces joint pain. And if you have arthritis, one of the best exercises is walking.
Tai Chi is also recommended, and I've visited China before and it's very common to see elderly people. I'm talking about really elderly people gathered in outdoor spaces participating in this ancient martial art. It involves slow, continuous movement that is specifically tailored to improve strength and balance. But if you currently don't have access to a park in China, then maybe you could find a YouTube video and even better find a friend and a park nearby  and use a YouTube video. 
And if you have access to a swimming pool. Oh, swimming is such an excellent exercise for people with arthritis.  But whatever you do, don't do nothing. Keep moving. Park in that spot that's furthest from the door. Don't ever drive to the mailbox. Find something you enjoy and keep moving.
Inactivity is the very worst thing you can do if your joints hurt. Now, of course, you should consult your doctor or healthcare provider first. And I'm not talking about joint pain from an acute injury. I'm talking about old fashioned aches and pains. Any joint in the body can be affected, but the most common ones are knees, hands and hips.
Check, check, check. Actually, my knees are pretty good, but I definitely have hip pain and intermittently pain in my hands.  But guess what? It is not from cracking my knuckles. That's a myth. Osteoarthritis is referred to as wear and tear arthritis, and that makes sense. I delivered a lot of babies with these hands and did a lot of surgeries, and probably gymnastics took a toll on my hip as well.
But listen, you don't have to abuse your joints to get osteoarthritis. You can also get it from neglect. Being sedentary increases your risk for... you name it. So if you sit all day, set your watch and at least get up and move around every hour. So we've covered age, previous injury, repetitive motion overuse, and inactivity as risk factors for osteoarthritis.
But you wanna know what else puts a lot of strain on your joints.  Obesity. In fact, weight loss can really help with osteoarthritis, especially of the knees, if only it were that simple. But get this, losing one pound takes four pounds of pressure off your knees. 
There are lots of different treatments from ointments to over-the-counter pain relievers, prescription medications physical therapy and surgery.  But sometimes you can't fix joint pain and you have to focus on managing it instead of trying to cure it. Whatever you do, take care of your body by being fit, active and maintaining a healthy weight, which by the way depends way more on diet than exercise  and eating a joint friendly diet.  So what kind of diet should you eat for arthritis? You know, there's the DASH diet for high blood pressure and the MIND diet for cognitive health, the Mediterranean diet for heart health.
But is there a diet for joint health? Not specifically, but all of the above diets have some things in common. They reduce inflammation and they promote whole unprocessed foods and avoiding foods that make inflammation worse.  You know those that are easy to grab and eat.
You do need protein for your joints, but don't fall into the trap of buying packaged food that touts 30 grams of protein on the front label. My mom kept a little carton of a protein drink that her friends had recommended because it had 30 grams of protein.  I reminded her don't pay attention to the front of the package. It's just marketing. Turn it over and read the nutrition label. I really think you should go back and listen to my episode on this. It's one of my favorites, and I put a link in the show notes.  
But if you eat a well-balanced diet, you don't need more protein. Now, I might argue that if you get your protein from meat and dairy. You need better protein.  Things like whole grains, soy products, beans, legumes, lentils, nuts and seeds. And did you know that fruits and vegetables contain protein? Plus they have fiber, which is crucial for weight loss and a healthy gut. And they don't contain bad fat and cholesterol.
If you want to know more about growing your own protein, listen to my interview with Jill Mc Sheehy on her podcast, the Beginner's Gardener.  And she has a follow-up episode on how to actually grow that stuff in your garden. So if you're into gardening, this is a don't miss episode. And yes, there's a link in the show notes.  
Also, certain spices like garlic and turmeric may help with inflammation and joint pain, but please just add them to your food. I know, I know taking a supplement seems so much easier, but it's not better. Green tea and coffee also have some anti-inflammatory properties, so drink up. But only in the morning, so it doesn't interfere with your sleep.
And even though we're focusing on diet and fitness today, poor sleep, loneliness and stress all contribute to chronic inflammation. And of course, smoking is not good for your joints either.
Look, inflammation is a normal process in your body designed to help your body heal, but chronic inflammation is terrible for your body. Plants contain phytochemicals that lower inflammation like antioxidants, fiber polyphenols, and Omega-3 fatty acids and the Mediterranean diet and the dash diet. Also focus on whole foods that contain these, and it's great for your heart too. Use unprocessed olive oil when you cook and think variety.
Focus on adding more plants and more colors to your diet. It, but the standard American diet is really the complete opposite. It's pro-inflammatory things like sugar, which can hide in so many places like protein drinks. In fact, that carton that my mom gave me contained a ton of refined sugar, and that's what we're talking about, refined sugar, not whole fruits, fried foods, saturated fats, and dairy and meat - especially processed meats and lunch meats. That includes bacon, but it also includes deli turkey, cheeses, and most oils, which are in mayonnaises and salad dressings. Fast foods, processed snacks, donuts, pizza, french fries. Listen, if you go to the grocery store and buy something and you have to fight that little plastic bag to get it open to put your produce in there, it's probably good for you. But if you just pull it off the shelf and it's in a box or a package. Beware and at least turn it over and read the nutrition label and ignore the front. And don't fall for marketing. 
Processed carbohydrates and refined greens are found in breads, pastries cakes, pasta, cookies, crackers, and energy bars. You know, they're just cookies in disguise.  Did I just describe your pantry? Hmm? Let me add canned soups, which are extraordinarily high in sodium. And all things that contain MSG and artificial sweeteners like aspartame can also worsen inflammation as well as alcohol.
What about gluten?  I probably need to do a whole episode to discuss that, but gluten is found in processed grains as well as whole grains, and some people do have a sensitivity. I believe most people need whole grains in their diet, and yes, there are some that do not contain gluten, but be smart about your choices. There are lots of packaged foods that shout gluten free on the front, and they're just gluten-free junk food.
What I suggest instead is pay attention to the connection between your diet and your joints. For me, it's chips and cheese dip that make my joints hurt worse. Maybe it's the cheese with all that saturated fat, all that salt or the bad oils that they're cooked in. But chips and cheese dip are not whole unprocessed foods. They aren't healthy for me or you, and there's a price to pay for eating them.
So if you do figure out something that makes your joints hurt worse, eliminate that from your diet and see if it helps.  The bottom line is that plants are good for your joints and they're good for your health and healthy. Looks great on you. 
  LINKS:
Grow Your Own Protein: The Beginner's Garden Podcast
READ A NUTRITION LABEL
Join my email list for more resources and to get each episode in your inbox. 
The information contained in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not considered to be a substitute for medical advice. You should continue to follow up with your physician or health care provider and take medication as prescribed. Though the information in this podcast is evidence based, new research may develop and recommendations may change.

Cholesterol: Good vs. Bad

 You've gone to the doctor and had your cholesterol checked, but what do all those numbers mean? And is there anything you can do to lower your cholesterol without medications? I'm so glad you asked. 
I'm Dr.Vickie Petz Kasper. If you're ready to take control of your health, you're in the right  place. Whether you're focused on prevention or you're trying to manage a condition. I'll give you practical steps to start your own journey toward better health because healthy looks great on you.
 This is episode 1 64. Cholesterol, the Good versus the Bad.
When I was about 26 years old, I had my cholesterol checked for the first time. Imagine my surprise when the number was 256.  Yikes. Now admittedly, the hospital where I was doing my residency had a fast food restaurant conveniently located right there in the cafeteria and my go-to: hamburgers and french fries.
But also I have a strong family history of significantly elevated cholesterol.  The doctor said I could lower it some and I should diet and exercise and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But guess what? I eventually lowered my cholesterol to 156 without medication, and I'm going to tell you how you can do it too.
But first, let's start at the beginning and go to mini medical school and learn exactly what is cholesterol. Technically we call it a lipid, which is sort of like a fat that circulates in your bloodstream. Structurally, these compounds make up parts of cell membranes and functionally they help regulate the transport across these membranes, so that's good. Right? Well, yes, we do need cholesterol to help move and store energy, produce hormones, and absorb vitamins. But you know, too much of a good thing. We'll get to that.
Lipids don't dissolve in water, so they have to hitch a ride on proteins to travel through the blood, and when they get hitched, they change their name to lipoproteins. Now this is gonna sound familiar if you've ever had a lipid panel drawn.  HDL stands for high density lipoproteins and LDL stands for low density lipoproteins.  Where does it come from? Well, your body actually makes it in both the liver and small intestines. Then it's stored in the liver where it's converted to bile acids, so you can get rid of it.
Is it bad or good? Well, that depends. HDL cholesterol reduces inflammation, prevents blood clots, and helps transport oxygen. And your body makes all of it that you need all of it. But here's the deal. Not only does your body make cholesterol, but we also eat it. Most of the cholesterol in the standard American diet comes from meat, eggs, cheese, and dairy products. Oh, well, who can afford eggs anyway?
But seriously, cholesterol is sneaky. Rather than announcing its presence, it just slips through your blood vessels undetected, but it leaves a calling card and we call it plaque. This buildup in the wall of the arteries can lead to hardening of the arteries and therefore cardiovascular disease.
Think about it. If a plaque gets big enough, it can compromise blood flow and cause a heart attack or stroke. And this can also happen with smaller plaques when a piece breaks off. I told you cholesterol is sneaky. Most people who have high cholesterol have no symptoms. We call it hyperlipidemia, and that's why you need to know your numbers and you need to know what they mean. 
I guess all those burgers weren't helping me have healthy blood vessels when I was in my twenties.  But that's not the whole story. We could go to mini medical school and learn the difference between HDL and LDL cholesterol, or we could just call them good cop, bad cop. Because that kind of sums it up. The reason LDL cholesterol is the bad cop is because it causes a fatty buildup inside the arteries and that impairs blood flow and puts you at increased risk of a heart attack or stroke.
You've seen those detective shows where they lock someone in an interrogation room and they just yell at 'em. No, it's not exactly the same, but I bet you'll remember now that LDL the bad cop cholesterol can make you have a heart attack. Now the good cop HDL cholesterol can actually lower your risk of heart disease and stroke.
You know, it's the reassuring I'll be your friend cop. Picture the scene, bad cop is giving the suspect a really hard time and good cop comes in and sends the bad cop away.   Stick with me here. HDL, good cholesterol carries at least a little bit of the LDL or bad cholesterol out of the arteries where it causes damage and into the liver where it can be broken down and eliminated.
So speaking in very general terms, you want your HDL cholesterol to be high and your LDL cholesterol to be low. We'll get to specific numbers in a sec. I do want to mention triglycerides. They are not the same thing as cholesterol, but they hang out together because you know, birds of a feather... When you have a lipid panel done, they often measure the whole flock, total cholesterol, HDL cholesterol, LDL, cholesterol and triglycerides.
You've also probably heard about the ratio and yes, it's very important, but whose side are these triglycerides on anyway? Well, they're the most common type of FAT in the body. And like all things in our bodies, they have a purpose and that is to store excess energy from your diet. And yeah, that's the problem.
Most of us have plenty of excess in our diet.  Hamburgers and french fries, or as Steve Martin said in the old Pink Panther movie, "Am barger." If you don't know that scene and that didn't make you laugh, please google it and watch a clip.
 The bottom line is that high triglycerides combined with high LDL means fatty buildup in the walls of the arteries, and that increases the risk of heart attack and stroke. Okay, I hope you're convinced that Steve Martin is hysterical and you need to see the clip from the Pink Panther, and you need to get your cholesterol checked. 
You are convinced, right? Don't believe me. The American Heart Association recommends that if you are over the age of 20, you should have your cholesterol checked and depending on your risk factors, every four to six years after that, until you get older and have an increased risk of. every dang thing.
So now you've had your blood drawn and the doctor calls you with your results.  No. Oh yeah. Your results are now on the portal and you want to know what they mean.  I do have to tell you that context matters and you really should discuss the results with your doctor, but if you don't hear from them, I'll give you some generalities for people who do not already have cardiovascular issues, and by the way, you should fast for at least 12 hours before you go to the lab and get this. You shouldn't have the test done if you're sick or stressed. Stress affects cholesterol too. It wreaks havoc on your body in so many ways. First of all, people who are stressed often smoke more, drink more, sleep less, exercise less socially isolate and eat more junk. So there's that, but also our old friend Cortisol, the stress hormone also plays a role. Cortisol is our body's way of preparing us to physically respond to a threat. So it triggers the release of glucose and fatty acids into the bloodstream and muscles. So energy is available for slaying dragons   threatening our safety, and that's a good thing when there are dragons pulling up in your driveway. Not so much if you live in a constant state of stress. Of course, if you have prolonged stress, you'll have to go ahead and surrender that vein in your arm and get your lipids checked anyway, because when it comes to your numbers, you need to know.
So let's get to those numbers. Total cholesterol should be below 200 milligrams per deciliter, and if it's between 201 and 239, that's considered borderline high cholesterol, and if it's above 240, that's just plain over the limit. Now, LDL cholesterol should be below 130 or even much lower than that if you are at risk of heart attack or stroke, HDL should ideally be above 60 and triglycerides below 150.
Any numbers outside of these parameters should be taken seriously because you have a higher risk of cardiovascular disease, especially if you continue to eat ham ba burgers.  Now, let's say you do hear from your doctor's office. You know, the nurse calls and says you either need to take a cholesterol lowering medication like a statin or that you need to eat a low cholesterol diet and exercise. Thank you very much. But shouldn't we have a more detailed conversation about this result?  You bet. Your cholesterol is just one group of numbers. It's not the whole picture. Your risk of heart disease is impacted by other factors like smoking, high blood pressure, your family history, your age, and yes, of course your diet.
And we are going to talk about a heart healthy diet in a bit. But first, let's discuss that conversation you're having with the nurse who calls from the doctor's office and said, we've sent in a prescription for a statin.  Hold up a minute. This literally happened to me last year. My total cholesterol was 202, a whopping two points above the normal range, and my ratio of good cholesterol to bad cholesterol was excellent.
So I questioned this recommendation,  but what are the recommendations? Remember, I am board certified in lifestyle medicine, which is a subspecialty of conventional medicine. So we're not opposed to treatment with medication when indicated, but before we go firing off prescriptions, we should at least examine the indications.
If your cholesterol is abnormal, and I would argue that mine is not thanks to some serious changes in my lifestyle and not my inherited tendencies, then you may need a cholesterol medication. Depending on your age and the likelihood of developing heart disease, but if you're not at risk for heart disease, then you might not need a medication, even if your cholesterol is high. At least not for now, because here's the deal, the number of your years only increases and age is a risk factor for heart disease, which by the way, is the number one killer of Americans. So let's say you are at risk and your cholesterol is high and your doctor wants you to take a medication quick pharmacology review.
These medications can help the body make less cholesterol, which is one source. They can block the absorption of cholesterol from food, which is another source, and on top of that, they can actually help your body get rid of cholesterol faster. Sounds great. Right, and it can be, you should probably take medication if you have known heart disease, especially if you've actually had a heart attack or stroke.
And because diabetes is such a big risk factor for cardiovascular disease, you may need to take a medication if you have type two diabetes, even if your cholesterol isn't high. And that's to prevent heart disease. Of course, you need to discuss all of this with your personal healthcare provider, and I recommend following their advice after you've had a conversation about options and risk. The most commonly prescribed class of medications are statins, but there are others.
But can you lower your cholesterol without medications? I'm living proof  exercise helps raise your good cholesterol and lower your bad cholesterol, but you gotta do it regularly. Ideally, 30 minutes, five days a week, or if you wanna step it up a notch, 20 minutes of vigorous exercise three times a week.
And remember, vigorous means you cannot have a conversation if you're talking, you are not exercising vigorously. You gotta be huffing and puffing to reach this level. So if you decide to stick with moderate, you can talk, but you can't sing. But here's the beauty of exercising - every little step in the right direction has immediate benefits, so you can start small and see results.
Resistance training is great to build muscle strength and burn energy. You know, bands, weights, pushups, things like that. Or maybe you could start walking briskly. Or go to the gym and join a class for built-in accountability and social connections.  
Let me give you a startling fact.  People who have a heart attack are four times more likely to die within three years if they don't have social connections. The older you get, the stronger the association. And if you're wondering how in the world that could be, it turns out the key is caring about others. When you value people in your life and you know they value you, you are more likely to make healthier choices like not smoking and positive relationships help manage stress and lower inflammation, and that damages blood vessels and also contributes to heart disease. 
Sleep matters too. As part of an overall healthy lifestyle, you should aim for seven to nine hours per night and less than six hours a night is associated with higher cholesterol levels.  In the past, medical literature reported a positive association between drinking a glass of red wine and heart health. Turns out that's probably not true and moderate to heavy drinking  unquestionably raises your risk for heart disease. You know, if your liver's working overtime to get rid of alcohol, it's much less effective in dealing with cholesterol.
Now, your Dr. may not have mentioned any of this except diet and exercise. So let's park there for a minute. A healthy weight is often associated with better numbers, but that isn't always true. Genetics also plays a big role, but whether you're at an ideal weight or overweight, changing your diet can have a huge impact on your cholesterol.
In fact, depending on how much change you're willing to make, I would say that you can lower your cholesterol to a healthy level. And if you're interested in making healthy habit changes, you might want to go to my website Healthy Looks Great on you.com and sign up for Kickstart to Better Health. And for sure, you're going to want to stay tuned for an upcoming interview I have on Habit Change. Subscribe to this podcast. There's a link in the show notes or go to the website Healthy looks great on you.com.
Either way, you should listen to your doctor. And make sure they listen to you as well. You may need medication to lower your cholesterol, and you may need to make lifestyle changes, especially if your numbers are going up in the wrong direction, even a little.
But if you're motivated to do it without medications, let me harp on your diet. Hear me when I say this. When it comes to cholesterol or weight loss, diet matters more than exercise. Of course you should do both, but if you don't change your diet, exercise may not have the impact you're looking for. If you want to reduce the intake of cholesterol, stay away from trans fats, sometimes referred to as partially hydrogenated oils. They've basically been outlawed and banned anyway, but sometimes these transitions take some time to implement. Just make sure packaged pastries and things like margarine, which you shouldn't be eating anyway, don't have them. Avoid foods that are high in any kind of saturated fat.  
Here's my top five list of foods that are high in cholesterol. Maybe we can find some hints about why my cholesterol was high eating in that fast food restaurant every day.
Number one is red meat, beef, pork,  and especially processed meats like bacon, sausage, and hot dogs. Ah, remember what those hamburgers did to my cholesterol numbers.
Number two is fried foods, and yes, I ordered french fries with my burgers. And fried foods are particularly bad when certain oils are used.
Number three is sugar sweetened beverages and good grief. I drank a Coke with my burger and fries. No wonder my numbers were bad.
Number four is sweets, pastries, pies, cakes, cookies, and ice cream. Yep. I probably ate that too.
Number five is dairy, especially whole milk, cream, butter, and unfortunately cheese, which I also put on my burger. Good grief. I was daring my cholesterol to be high with all the foods from the naughty list.
So what am I doing now? Well, I'm glad you asked. Here's a fun fact.  You really don't find cholesterol in plants. So eat plants, eat a lot of plants, eat different plants, eat plants that have different colors. Usually the darker, brighter the color, the more nutrients it has.
Cholesterol's only found in processed foods, meat and dairy. But you wanna know what's only found in plants. Fiber and a high fiber diet is so important in lowering your cholesterol. It creates a healthy gut microbiome. Think of it like a sponge too, that soaks up cholesterol out of your bloodstream and helps remove it.
Things like unprocessed oatmeal, whole wheat bread, whole grain brown rice, and popcorn. Also, beans, broccoli, sweet potatoes, apples, pears, oranges, grapes, all kinds of berries and nuts are on the good list. You didn't just ask me about eggs, did you? Goodness, that's a whole other conversation. And so is the other player in this conversation, triglycerides. But I will tell you that if you have high LDL cholesterol, you should at least limit your consumption of eggs.
And the bottom line is that HDL cholesterol is your friend. It can help protect you from cardiovascular disease. And LDL Cholesterol levels should be low for heart health. That's easy to remember. H stands for high. L stands for low, and in some cases your doctor will want it really, really low. Below 70. So is cholesterol good or bad? The answer is yes. Cholesterol helps with cell membrane transport, absorption of vitamins, brain function, hormone production. But don't get the wrong idea. LDL cholesterol causes fatty buildup in the arteries, and that can be a huge threat to your health. So lower your bad cholesterol with medications if you need it, but definitely lower it with lifestyle changes because lower LDL is better for your health and healthy. Looks great on you.   
The information contained in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not considered to be a substitute for medical advice. You should continue to follow up with your physician or health care provider and take medication as prescribed. Though the information in this podcast is evidence based, new research may develop and recommendations may change 

Struggling with insomnia?

 Are you struggling with insomnia? Do you just wish you could fall asleep as soon as you lay your head down on the pillow? Or maybe you go to sleep, but then you wake up and you can't go back to sleep?  Do recurring spinning thoughts in your head keep you awake at night, and have you struggled with insomnia for so long that you dread going to bed because you just know you're not going to sleep? 
Listen, good sleep is possible. There are evidence-based and researched, proven methods to help you get the rest you need. Of course, the proof is in the Zzz's. I'm Dr. Vickie Petz Kasper, and I'm board certified in lifestyle medicine and I have a particular passion about helping people sleep. Here's why. For many years I lived a very healthy lifestyle.
I paid attention to my diet and my physical activity, my social connections, and I managed my stress through my faith. But the one area of my health that I totally neglected was sleep. And eventually it caught up with me. I developed a rare autoimmune disease that causes profound weakness.  I've been in remission now for a few years and I'm thankful for that, but I'm also thankful that I can lay down every night and get a good, solid eight hours of sleep,  and I can help you do it too.  The other reason I'm so passionate about helping people sleep is there just aren't a lot of good resources. I mean, if you wanna go on a diet, you can find a nutrition or a dietician to help you with a meal plan. And if you wanna get more physically fit, you can join a gym or take a class or even hire a personal trainer.
And if you're struggling with stress, you can see and should see a trained, licensed mental health care provider.  But if you're struggling to sleep, you could see a sleep specialist. But those are a little far and few between. And if you go to your regular doctor.  They've likely only gotten a limited amount of training in sleep.
And if you look at the textbooks for medicine, the recommendation is not sleeping pills, it's lifestyle modifications, and I can help you sleep better through lifestyle modifications. Now, I'm not offering to treat you medically,  I'm just providing you with education and information, and I can help you get the results you're looking for.
Here's how I created an online digital course called Unlock the Secret to Sleep Your Personal Sleep Solution. This six week course will be delivered on March 17th, but it's only available for registration today and tomorrow it ends March 12th, 2025.
Enrollment is closed, so don't go another sleepless night without checking out   📍 healthy. Looks great on you.com/. Unlock the secret to sleep on that page, I can answer all your questions, give you more information about the course,  but it's basically videos and downloadable cheat sheets and checklist and templates and all the tools that you need to help you get a good night's sleep for your mental health, your emotional health, and your physical health because healthy looks great on you.   
The information contained in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not considered to be a substitute for medical advice. You should continue to follow up with your physician or health care provider and take medication as prescribed. Though the information in this podcast is evidence based, new research may develop and recommendations may change 

Is Your Health Keeping You Awake? 4 medical conditions that can ruin your sleep

 Are you laying in bed exhausted but wide awake? Maybe it's pain racing thoughts or waking up gasping for air. Your insomnia may be due to an underlying medical condition more than stress  or bad sleep habits. Today we will look at four medical conditions that can disrupt your sleep.   I'm Dr.Vickie Petz Kasper.
If you're ready to take control of your health, you're in the right  place. Whether you're focused on prevention or you're trying to manage a condition. I'll give you practical steps to start your own journey toward better health because healthy looks great on you.
 This is episode 1 62. Is your health keeping you awake? Four medical conditions that cause insomnia.  Not sleeping is frustrating not only during the long nights, but also dragging through the day without the mental clarity you need. And maybe you know why you can't sleep, or maybe you're trying to treat the symptoms without addressing the root cause.
Today we're going to look at four medical conditions that keep you from getting the rest you need. Because if you can identify the cause, you can get started on a path to better sleep. So let's pull back the covers and see what wakes you up. Number one is ouch. Chronic pain can keep you tossing and turning low back pain, shoulder pain, arthritis, fibromyalgia.
All of these things can cause discomfort, which makes it hard to fall asleep and stay asleep. Pain and sleep have what we call a bidirectional relationship. Think of it like a two-way street. Pain makes it harder to sleep and poor sleep makes pain worse. Climbing under the covers can be uncomfortable and that can aggravate pain.
Plus, even if you can get to sleep, pain can tap you on the shoulder or anywhere else for that matter and wake you up. This leads to fragmented sleep when what you need is deep restorative sleep, which is crucial for healing and less deep sleep. Makes your pain threshold go way down. So that you're more sensitive to pain.
On top of that, pain is frustrating and insomnia is maddening, and when they get in bed together, it can heighten anxiety, which triggers alertness and all of that makes it harder to drift off to dreamland.  Arthritis is not a good bed partner. Inflammation and stiffness tend to get worse when you're inactive.
That's why you feel like the tin man who needs a shot of oil to get moving in the morning. Non-restorative sleep latches onto fibromyalgia too, and it doesn't let go. Sleeping position can worsen back pain, shoulder pain, and carpal tunnel syndrome. So optimize your sleep position for better sleep. If you have arthritis, use supportive pillows to reduce any pressure on joints. If you have nerve pain like carpal tunnel syndrome, try sleeping in a brace to immobilize your wrist. And if you have back pain, put a pillow under your knees or sleep on your side with a pillow between your legs and before you go to bed, try taking a warm bath or using a heating pad because that can relax your muscles and help with stiffness. Cold packs can be even better at reducing inflammation and also try gentle stretching exercises or massage before bed to relieve the tension in those muscles. But don't do a strenuous workout that will just increase your cortisol levels and keep you from sleeping. 
The most important thing is to always address the root cause. If you are having unexplained pain, you need to work with your doctor to manage your condition.  
Number two is gastroesophageal reflux disease. Do you wake up with heartburn or maybe even a sore throat? It might be your stomach acid, keeping you awake.
Acid reflux symptoms can worsen during the night disrupting sleep.  Here's what happens. Many people experience heartburn, regurgitation, and just discomfort when laying down, and that makes it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep. The reason is that gravity keeps stomach acid down during the day, but then when you lay down flat, that acid easily flows back up into the esophagus. This can lead to a burning sensation or an irritation in the throat, or even coughing and choking. Many people with gastroesophageal reflux experience brief wakenings throughout the night, even though they may not realize it, it often occurs during REM sleep, which is that mind restoring deep sleep. 
And acid irritation can stimulate the throat and the lungs, which can cause coughing, wheezing, or a sensation of mucus buildup that makes it harder to breathe comfortably and stay asleep. Years ago, I was misdiagnosed with asthma when what I really had was severe reflux because I was on prednisone, all that acid would go down into my lungs and I would wake up sputtering and coughing.
But it wasn't asthma. It was a spasm of my larynx, which is where your airway closes off for a brief period of time, and that's not pleasant. 
It can also irritate the vocal cords causing hoarseness or even a sour taste in the mouth.
Some people just have chronic GERD. Some people have a hiatal hernia. Pregnancy certainly makes it worse and so does obesity,  so here are some suggestions. First of all, sleep on your left side. This keeps the stomach in a position that's lower than the esophagus, and so that kind of helps manage the reflux just by using gravity. 
More effective than that is to elevate your head. You can either use a wedge pillow or just put some bricks under the headboard of your bed to raise it by a few inches,   and especially avoid late night eating. Don't eat within two to three hours before your bedtime and avoid large meals, spicy foods, citrus, alcohol, caffeine, and fatty foods before bed.
And if this is something that only bothers you occasionally, it's certainly fine to take an over the counter antacid, but this is also a condition that needs to be evaluated by a healthcare provider to make sure nothing else is going on.  
 Reflux disease can be confused with sleep apnea as well. Sleep apnea is a serious medical condition. It's usually characterized by loud snoring or waking up choking. As you can see, that could be confused with gastroesophageal reflux disease, but  it can also be periods of time where you don't breathe at all, and what happens is your oxygen levels go down and that affects all of your organs, especially your brain and your heart. It can put you at risk for heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, and dementia. 
It's more common in men than women, but women certainly can get it and they especially get it after menopause . The soft palate gets a little more lax. It's more common in people who are overweight, but that does not always hold true. If you are having any symptoms of obstructive sleep apnea, it's important to see your healthcare provider and have a sleep study if you are in fact doing what we call desaturating, meaning that those oxygen levels are going down. You need an official sleep study to see if you would benefit from an implantable device or a CPAP machine. And if you are diagnosed with sleep apnea and you're overweight, losing weight can certainly help, as well as avoiding anything sedating like alcohol, sleeping pills, or antihistamines. 
There are lots of medical conditions that can cause you to not sleep.  Things like thyroid disease, diabetes, heart failure, COPD. But today I want to talk a little bit about mental health conditions like anxiety and depression, because your mind isn't the only thing affected. Your sleep is too. 
You see, mental health and sleep are deeply connected. Poor sleep can worsen mental health. While mental health disorders make it harder to sleep, it's a vicious cycle, and understanding the connection is the first step toward breaking it.
So let's go to mini medical school for just a moment and see how mental disorders can affect sleep. You see, chronic stress increases the levels of cortisol and what we call adrenaline, and that makes it harder for your body to wind down  and cortisol levels that are high in the evening can actually interfere with melatonin production, which is the sleep hormone, so that can delay sleep onset. On top of that, mental health conditions can reduce deep sleep, which is that slow wave sleep, and it also can reduce REM sleep, which is when you're dreaming, that can lead to fragmented and non-restorative sleep.  The problem with depression is a lot of times people go into REM sleep too quickly and they have vivid dreams or nightmares. 
One of the characteristic findings of depression is people who wake up super early in the morning and can't go back to sleep. Then you can start associating the bed with stress, and that just makes insomnia worse over time. The same with anxiety.  Worrying and overthinking at night can lead to difficulty falling asleep.  It can also make your muscles tense, make your heart race, and make you feel like you're having a panic attack. 
People with a DHD often struggle with delayed sleep on set too. They just stay up half the night even though they're exhausted, because a lot of times their brains can't make that transition from awake to asleep, and they're more prone to restless sleep, frequent waking, and grogginess in the morning.
So what do you do about it? 
While overall lifestyle is super important for treating ADHD, depression and anxiety, it's also very important to be under the care of a healthcare provider and a mental health care provider. Counseling can be very effective for dealing with anxiety and depression. 
But if your symptoms are less serious and you just have spinning thoughts that won't stop, the main thing I suggest is learn to relax your body and your mind. We have to put our minds in neutral. And I think a lot of us go through the whole day, just go, go, go, go, go, and then we lay down at night, and our brains won't turn off because they don't ever turn off. I'm going to give you my very best tip on how to shut down your mind - journaling. I always say it's a cheap psychiatrist.  And that's just one simple step you can take to try to shut off your mind. But I heard a sleep specialist say one time that relying on sleep tips is kind of like asking a nutritionist, "How can I eat heart healthy?" And they say, "Eat more broccoli." It's a lot more complicated than that, and that's why I created a comprehensive online digital course called Unlock the Secret to Sleep Your Personalized Sleep Solution.
I hope you won't miss the opportunity to enroll in this course. It's only available until March 12th, 2025.
The course will be released on March 17th. And I also have a FREE LIVE SLEEP MASTERCLASS happening tomorrow morning at eight o'clock. It's free, but registration is required. There's a link in the show notes or you can just go to healthy looks great on you.com and look for "Six Surprising Reasons You're Tossing and Turning." We'll talk about those six reasons and what you can do about it.
A lot of people have had insomnia for such a long period of time that they've lost hope that anything can help them sleep better, and it's just not true. You can sleep better. Are there magic wands? No. It takes some work, but I can help you every step of the way. 
I want to leave you with one tip. Don't watch the clock. If you wake up during the night, resist the urge to pick up your phone and see what time it is. If you have an alarm set, you can rest easy. You're not going to oversleep, and you don't need to know what time it is. All that does is expose your brain to blue light, which suppresses melatonin and creates anxiety about what time it is and about not sleeping and that only leads to further insomnia. So don't watch the clock. That's my number one piece of advice today. I have lots more I can tell you in UNLOCK THE SECRET TO SLEEP - Your Personal Sleep Solution. I sure hope you'll enroll today before this opportunity is gone  because when you sleep better, your health is better and healthy, looks great on you.
 The information contained in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not considered to be a substitute for medical advice. You should continue to follow up with your physician or health care provider and take medication as prescribed. Though the information in this podcast is evidence based, new research may develop and recommendations may change.
UNLOCK THE SECRET TO SLEEPFREE LIVE SLEEP MASTERCLASS
Resources (may contain affiliate links)
MY FAVORITE SLEEP MASK

Importance of Sleep and Weight

 You've restricted your calories to the point of hunger, and you're a familiar face at the gym. But you're still struggling with unwanted weight. Could sleep be the answer? Stay tuned to learn more about maintaining a healthy weight by improving your sleep.   
 I'm Dr.Vickie Petz Kasper. I practiced obstetrics and gynecology for 20 years until I landed on the other side of the sheets as a very sick patient. My health was out of control. My doctor challenged me to make radical changes through lifestyle medicine. Now I feel great and I want to help you make changes that make a difference. Healthy Looks Great On You podcast takes you to mini medical school so you can learn the power of lifestyle medicine.
If you're ready to take control of your health, you're in the right  place. Whether you're focused on prevention or you're trying to manage a condition. I'll give you practical steps to start your own journey toward better health because healthy looks great on you.
  This is Episode 161
Importance of Sleep and Weight.  
It doesn't seem fair. You eat less than others and exercise more, but you've still got an unwanted spare tire around your belly. If you've checked all the boxes and can't figure out what's wrong, maybe it's time to go to bed and get some good quality sleep. 
Did you know that there are studies that indicate as much as a 40 to 55 percent increased risk of obesity associated with short duration of sleep and this is true for night shift workers as well. Of course, there are other factors that contribute to excess weight gain, but poor sleep is an often overlooked contributor that keeps you from reaching your healthy weight goals.
Despite your best efforts, the risk of metabolic syndrome is increased by three fold by poor sleep. In today's episode, you'll understand the sleep weight connection, assess your current sleep quality, and implement science backed strategies to improve sleep and start making habit changes to your sleep that affect your diet and activity level.
Wow! It looks like sleep may be the secret ingredient that ties it all together. Now, am I saying you'll lose weight if you have good quality sleep?  Sorry, but no. But what I am saying is that if you don't sleep well, your chances of struggling with obesity are increased. 
And that goes for children as well as adults.  If you missed the previous episodes on sleep in this series, I'll put links in the show notes. And if you want practical steps to help improve your sleep, register for my free live Sleep Masterclass. I'll put a link in the show notes. Because if you improve your sleep, you'll have more energy, improved mood, and maybe an easier time controlling your weight. 
If you're worried about the health consequences of belly fat such as type 2 diabetes, cognitive decline, heart disease and depression, then don't get stuck in this cycle of frustration. Struggling, without seeing any progress, takes a toll on your mental health and emotions.
 Let's start by going to mini medical school to meet the hormones that control appetite.
Gherlin is the hunger hormone. Think of it like a lead foot on the gas pedal going full speed ahead. Leptin is the counter hormone that controls satiety, which is a signal to your brain that you've had enough and you're satisfied. So this one pumps the brakes. Gherlin's job is to tell you, I'm hungry so that you eat.
Most of it's produced in cells that line the stomach, which makes perfect sense, that the sensor would be in the gut. It then travels through the bloodstream to the brain, where it turns on receptors in the hypothalamus. Now this is the central control center for hunger.
And that stimulates the release of neuropeptide Y which increases appetite and also decreases energy expenditure to conserve calories. Now, levels of ghrelin should rise before a meal and drop off after you fill your belly.  Makes sense, right? But get this, when you don't get enough sleep, even for one night, ghrelin levels increase by around 20%.
So, sleepyheads  have a foot on the eating accelerator and experience increased appetite. And here's the deal. It's not an appetite for broccoli. It actually makes you crave calorie dense foods, like cookies.  And when the rhythm of ghrelin levels gets out of whack, you experience hunger at inappropriate times.
Kinda like running a red light, except instead of getting a ticket, the needle on the scale is your fine. Not only does this create a situation like so many functions in the body, it creates a cycle. You don't sleep, so your body makes more ghrelin. More ghrelin means more hunger and more cravings. More calories means more weight gain, and guess what that can lead to?
Poor sleep quality. Boom. The cycle feeds itself. Pardon the pun.  If I could give you one piece of advice to help arrest this cycle, I'd say you need a regular sleep schedule. And yes, I know it's not easy. 
That's why I'm offering a free live sleep masterclass to help you get adequate sleep and maintain normal ghrelin levels to stabilize your hunger. 
Just go to my website, www. healthylooksgreatonyou.com and in the search bar, type in free live.  If you're trying to achieve a healthy weight, you absolutely need to eat whole food that's nutrient dense and you need to increase your physical activity.
But don't neglect a good night's sleep to balance hunger.  Now, let's pump those brakes and talk about leptin. You probably aren't going to like this, but the word leptin comes from the Greek word leptos meaning thin. And here's the deal, you can be thin and be very unhealthy. So anytime I talk about weight and health, the focus is on health.
But the reality is that leptin is secreted by adipose tissue. So the more fat cells you have, the more leptin your body produces. To try and control food intake and like gherlin, it travels through the bloodstream, crosses the blood brain barrier and binds to receptors in the Hunger Center, the hypothalamus, it depresses appetite and increases energy expenditure, which has a big impact on metabolism. 
Great. So what I'm saying is that if you have more fat cells, your body will produce more leptin and tell your brain, "Enough is enough." Yeah, but that's only if things are working as designed.  Lack of sleep can reduce leptin levels by 20%. So now you've got a compound effect of 20 percent more hunger hormone and 20 percent less fullness hormone, and you know what's bound to happen.
Also, chronic sleep deprivation can contribute to leptin resistance. So that even when levels are normal or even high, the brain's sensitivity is decreased. So now the brain thinks you need more calories. And the drive to eat more calories usually sends you to the pantry for snack foods rather than a craving for fruits and vegetables.
This hormone imbalance is a perfect storm for weight gain. All of this is an intricate part of the circadian rhythm. A system in equilibrium relies on consistent, good quality sleep and not getting the Z's you need. may sabotage your weight loss plan.  One tip is to be sure and get morning light exposure.
This helps make sure that your internal clock starts working properly. Producing and secreting melatonin at the appropriate times 
You see, the whole sleep cycle is regulated by melatonin, and melatonin secretion is controlled by light. So, exposure to light at night suppresses melatonin, and the normal rhythm is thrown out of balance by an irregular sleep schedule. But here's the deal. Melatonin also has an effect on metabolism.
Melatonin is released from the pineal gland and it sends signals to the adrenal glands to regulate cortisol. The levels of cortisol are supposed to be highest first thing in the morning when you wake up, and that's why you're hungry. And you should eat a healthy, carbohydrate breakfast like oatmeal. 
Levels are supposed to be lowest at night, but a poor sleep pattern can result in elevated cortisol levels in the evening, and that can cause an increased appetite, especially for foods high in fat and sugar. You know, the ones that taste yummy but aren't good for you. And of course, this is associated with increased belly fat, which is terrible for your health.
It also interferes with glucose metabolism. And what can happen is a stress eat sleep cycle that is broken is really hard to fix.  But wait, there are even more issues linked to weight and sleep. Sleep deprivation causes your body to be significantly less sensitive to insulin. If you want more information on type 2 diabetes and how insulin works to move sugar out of the bloodstream and into cells where it can be used, I'll put a link in the show notes to that episode.
But when the body doesn't respond to insulin, the pancreas responds by cranking out more. This promotes weight gain in general, but belly fat in particular. And it increases the risk of type 2 diabetes.  Another hormone affected by sleep, and important in healthy weight, is growth hormone.
Most of it's released during deep sleep, so if your sleep quality is not good, Then you never get to that deep sleep cycle, and therefore your body makes less growth hormone, which promotes fat burning, maintenance of lean muscle mass, and raises metabolism. So, without enough growth hormone, you can maintain the same weight, but your body composition may shift towards a higher percentage of fat and less muscle.
 You might want to keep track of your sleep to evaluate how well you're sleeping. And quantity and quality are important. For example, you may sleep 8 hours a night, but if you never get to that deep sleep, then you're not making the growth hormone you need. What can make you do that is alcohol. Alcohol may help you fall asleep, but it prevents you from getting into that deep sleep.
And many sleeping medications do the same thing. So, it's important to focus on not only the quantity, but the quality. But here's the deal, without the quantity, you never get to those five to six cycles of sleep that you need to go through before your body gets into the deep sleep. So, it's all very important.
And it may help you to track your sleep to see how you're doing. If you'd like a free sleep tracker blueprint. Then just show up  to my free live sleep masterclass. You can sign up the link in the show notes.  
 Thyroid hormone levels can be affected by sleep too because of the reduction in Thyroid Stimulating Hormone, or TSH, which is released from the brain to tell the thyroid gland how much T3 and T4 to make. When thyroid function is low, the metabolic rate slows, fatigue increases, and weight gain can occur. 
In one episode, I referred to sleep as the mood mechanic. I'll put a link to that in the show notes as well, but that's because sleep deprivation affects the reward centers in the brain where dopamine lives. And look, we gotta have dopamine in our brains. We'll do anything to increase the levels, and that can result in using food as a way to satisfy the need. In addition, serotonin levels are lowered with poor sleep and that can cause unhealthy carbohydrate cravings. And what about sex hormones? Well, testosterone can decrease by 10 to 15 percent in men due to poor sleep for a week. And this can reduce muscle mass and increase fat storage.
And in women, estrogen and progesterone imbalances can occur and that also affects fat storage, especially after menopause. And it also lowers metabolism. If you've tried really hard to lose weight, remember, diet is far more important than anything, including exercise. Of course you need a healthy diet and activity for optimum health, but healthy sleep should also be considered part of a healthy lifestyle.
 Good sleep habits means keeping a regular schedule, timing light exposure because that's what controls melatonin secretion and that gets the whole ball of wax rolling, but also having a good environment to sleep. You need a comfortable, uncluttered place to sleep, and think cave, cool, dark, and quiet.
And, of course, those screens emit blue light, and that suppresses melatonin secretion and can interfere with your sleep.   Also be mindful of the things that you eat and drink, like caffeine and sugar and salt.
All of these things can affect your sleep. But, new habits aren't always easy to form, and old habits aren't always easy to break.
If you'd like to learn more, join me for my free sleep masterclass. It'll be live on March 3rd, 5th, and 8th. We'll look at six surprising reasons you're tossing and turning and what to do about them. I'll help you make small, sustainable changes to improve sleep and maintain a healthy weight.
Because healthy looks great on you.   
RESOURCES:
Free Live Masterclass - 6 Surprising Reasons You're Tossing and Turning
The Risky Business of Poor Sleep
Sleeping Pills and Potions
The Mood Mechanic - sleep
Sobriety and Sleep with Casey Davidson
Type 2 Diabetes
Why is Sleeping So Hard
The information contained in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not considered to be a substitute for medical advice. You should continue to follow up with your physician or health care provider and take medication as prescribed. Though the information in this podcast is evidence based, new research may develop and recommendations may change

Sobriety and Sleep with Casey Davidson

Have you ever thought having a drink helps you relax and sleep better? Stay tuned to learn more about how alcohol affects your sleep, other aspects of your life, and what you can do about it. My guest today has been featured on NBC News, Good Morning America, The New York Times, NPR, CNN, and Huffington Post.
Stay tuned. You're in for a treat. 
  I'm Dr.Vickie Petz Kasper. If you're ready to take control of your health, you're in the right  place. Whether you're focused on prevention or you're trying to manage a condition. I'll give you practical steps to start your own journey toward better health because healthy looks great on you.
 Today I have a special guest on the Healthy Looks Great On You podcast. I have Casey Davidson from Hello Someday Coaching, and she is a sobriety coach for women. And on her website, she particularly says That she can help you sleep through the night and wake up rested. So welcome Casey. 
 Casey: Oh, thank you. I'm so excited to be here. 
Dr. Vickie: Well, you know I'm doing a series right now on sleep and I definitely talk about how alcohol affects sleep and I know a lot of people think taking a drink helps them relax and go to sleep, but I'd love to hear your insight on that.  
Casey: Absolutely. Well, alcohol is really terrible for your sleep. It's, it's this weird combination of both a depressant and a stimulant. So once you drink even as little as one drink for women, it really impacts your sleep quality, there have been studies done that even a small amount of alcohol impacts your sleep. So for women, which is one drink, it decreases your sleep quality by 24 percent and anything more than one drink for women decreases your sleep quality by 40%. So  it's really incredible.  
Dr. Vickie: And do you think women notice that or they're just feeling the effects of poor mood and maybe fatigue and they don't even realize that's what's contributing?
Casey: I think it depends. I used to drink quite a bit. I was kind of the woman who was working in corporate and had two little kids and came home and opened up a bottle of wine when I got home to cook dinner. And I actually was drinking about a bottle of wine a night most nights of the week. So anyone who drinks like I did typically wakes up at three in the morning, feeling just crushing anxiety, your heart racing, and have trouble going back to sleep. I think anyone who doesn't drink the way that I drank will notice when they stop drinking how good they feel and how good they sleep without alcohol, even if it's just one or two glasses at a time.
Dr. Vickie: And since the pandemic particularly, we've really seen an increase in the amount of alcohol  with men and women and so you have particularly targeted the mommy wine culture. So, can you tell us a little bit about that? 
Casey: Absolutely. I mean what's interesting is the biggest increase in binge drinkers right now are midlife women with the highest  socioeconomic status. So we have been sold throughout our lives the idea that wine is sophisticated and it helps us relax and it helps us connect. And there have been some really interesting articles in the Atlantic, for example, they wrote about how stress drinking has a divide. And so women drink to relieve stress significantly more than men. A lot of the marketing that has gone in the alcohol industry is targeted to women because they need to increase their market share and their bottom line. And starting 20 years ago, mothers in in particular were targeted. So you will even see, bottles of wine with the names, "Mommy Time Out." And, you know, there's, "Skinny Girl Vodka," and "Mommy's Little Helper." Wine is is really the modern woman's steroid. And so we get used to drinking on a regular basis. more and more and more.
And when I was a new mom, I felt like drinking was a way that I could reclaim some portion of of my pre kid personality.  I was no longer having a lot of time to see my friends or go to the gym or go kayaking or hiking. So I could drink and I could multitask, right? So I could drink and play Legos. I could drink and play Candy Land.
And a lot of motherhood is pretty monotonous and difficult, and it sort of becomes your main reward.  
Dr. Vickie: That's so interesting and marketing really works. I am excited that recently the Surgeon General has come out with potentially putting a cancer warning on alcohol because there are a lot of new studies showing that even a small amount can increase the risk of cancer. There was a season where we thought drinking a glass of red wine every day was actually good for your heart. And that has been really questioned.
Casey: It's been completely disproven. And a lot of those studies were actually sponsored by the alcohol industry.  I remember the French paradox, out on 60 minutes and this is decades ago, but the idea that people who drank alcohol in moderation were actually healthier than those who didn't drink at all. Turns out the study was completely flawed. The people in the control group, meaning didn't drink at all, didn't drink largely because either they used to drink a lot or they had medical issues to start with.  But that idea was promoted and took hold. The American Cancer Society finally came out a few years ago saying no amount of alcohol is healthy, that alcohol is linked to seven different kinds of cancer. Drinking. three glasses of wine or three drinks a week for women increases your risk of breast cancer by 15 percent and anything over that increases another 10%, every additional glass of of wine, which completely counteracts the idea that one drink a day for women is perfectly healthy. The truth is it's not. but I don't know if when I was drinking that would have convinced me to stop.  
Dr. Vickie: Well, that's interesting because we have seen a cultural shift. There used to be  events where there wasn't alcohol served and that's becoming less common. I think that the drinking culture has really exponentially increased. So if it wasn't the health risk that would have made you stop, what was your motivation?  
Casey: Well, I have to say that I was always a drinker, ever since I got to college. I joined the women's rugby team where binge drinking was celebrated. And then I used alcohol to shut off my brain. I was very much a gold star straight A girl who had a lot of fear of not doing well. When I drank, I could let all of that go. So  drinking for me was fun. It was actually part of my personality. I felt like it was sort of integral to  the type of person I was and stopping drinking completely was my worst nightmare, literally my worst case scenario in life. So  I thought for a very long time that I needed to get ahold of my drinking, that I needed to be able to moderate more successfully so that I would never have to stop completely.  And,  the more I tried to moderate, meaning I made all the rules, like I'll only have two drinks tonight. I will only drink beer because I like red wine better. I will only drink when I'm home. So I won't be out of the bar. I'll only drink when I'm out. Cause I go out less often. The more I tried to do that, the more I realized that it was not working at all. All of my rules, I could not successfully drink less on a consistent basis. Or if I did, I was super irritated and white knuckling it. And at the same time,  my anxiety was off the chart. I would wake up with this sort of low grade hangover every day. I would have to overcompensate to fit in everything I needed to do to still get, you know, the straight A version of an adult in a lot fewer hours.
I started listening to podcasts and started reading books and joining groups. And then finally decided to take a longer break from alcohol.I got to 100 days and I felt so much better. I decided to extend it to six months and then a year. And once it got to a year, I was like, you know what? I think I'm done drinking, because  I realized that I didn't need it and that I felt so much better and happier without it.
Dr. Vickie: That is so interesting. And I think that's true of so many substances, even something like sugar. You don't realize how bad it's making you feel until you can get through that period where you get over your cravings and realize how much better you feel without it. But it sounds like to me that you had a real identity shift. With drinking, denial is a huge part of the process. And so it's interesting that you just were listening to podcasts and now you are a coach for other women. 
Casey: I think the shift is really changing throughout society. It's, it's starting with the younger generation. So Gen Z is the leading factor in the sober curious movement. They drink 30 percent less than their parents or grandparents did at the same age. Millennials are also on board with being sober curious, which means  considering what your life would be like without drinking, taking periods of time, alcohol free, trying non alcoholic beer and wine, or just trying to drink more mindfully.
The older generations, I'm Gen X, who sort of came into adulthood with the idea that red wine was good for your heart. And Baby Boomers are the absolute biggest drinkers. So now it's more normalized to do dry January, to do dry July, to stop drinking for a period of time. And people don't question it as much as they used to. Whereas for a long time, I would say 10 years ago, if you took a break from drinking  and you were a drinker, people would pretty much be like, what's going on?  Do you have a problem? Are you pregnant? Just have one. You need to relax. We'll have more fun. Like  there there was a lot of pressure to keep drinking. 
Dr. Vickie: I agree with that. So, what would you say to a young woman, a young mom, or even anyone else in another range of age to get started if they are sober curious?   
Casey: I always encourage anyone who's thinking about this to try to take a longer break from drinking. When you are drinking, it becomes a habit and it becomes an emotional practice in terms of how you connect with your friends or your spouse or how you hang out with your colleagues or bond with other mothers. And you don't realize how much it impacts every aspect of your life. Whenever you drink alcohol, it spikes your dopamine really high. And so your body actually regulates your normal level of dopamine, your happy hormone lower. So even if you just drink twice a week, you are less happy than you would be if you were not drinking at all.
It messes with your mood regulation. So you are less emotionally stable than you would be, if you weren't drinking at all. It impacts your energy and your ability to work out. It messes with your sleep. So taking 30 days off drinking  is a really great way to evaluate how alcohol is impacting all the the aspects of your life,
You will notice just in one month that you have less brain fog, that you have more energy, your skin will be brighter, your eyes will be brighter. You will sleep better. So there are all these benefits to it, but you will also realize that you can go through a Friday night without drinking and that you can hang out with your partner and have a date without drinking and that it's still good. So that's a practice to bring awareness to all these beliefs we have about alcohol.
And in my coaching practice, a lot of the approach is to look at it like habit formation and break that. So the idea of keep the ritual, change the ingredients. There are fantastic non alcoholic beverages out there. there's non alcoholic beer that is, you know, taking the world by storm. There is is non alcoholic Prosecco. There's all these non alcoholic drinks, mocktails that you  will see all around you. And then you can institute new habits. How do you want to wind down at the end of the night? , If you're stressed, if you're lonely, what are other ways to meet those needs?
And you will learn something about yourself if you do that.  
Dr. Vickie: That's so powerful. And I think self discovery is a huge part of it, but I have to say, I'm glad you brought up dopamine because I always take my listeners to mini medical school. So what I want you to know about dopamine is that it affects the pleasure center of the brain, and it is in the exact same location as the pain center of the brain. When you're using any substance, and that dopamine level starts to drop, you experience extreme discomfort without the substance. And so, it's a weird upside down balance of, you're drinking to increase your dopamine levels, but then you have to drink because your dopamine levels go down so low and dopamine is a huge part of addiction. And I just want to ask you that, are we talking about addiction? Because you talk a lot about a dry period, an alcohol free period. What if someone can't stop?
Casey: There are are different levels. of using and withdrawing from a substance. In medical terms, it's called substance use disorder and there are variations of mild, moderate or severe.
What I love about the sober curious movement is anyone can decide to take a break or drink less or evaluate the way that alcohol is impacting their life and their social life. And  it is good  and you will learn something and there's was no judgment around it. Now, if you are drinking more often or more heavily, it is hard to take a break without some sort of support. So I actually stopped using sober coach. I worked with her, emailing her every day.  A lot of it was the block and tackling of, I'm having an awful day at work. I really want a drink. And her kind of being like, all right, you don't have to drink though. You can go home and you can cuddle up with your kid or watch a show or go for a run or whatever it is. Just that encouragement to to get through those cravings and the ideas of of like what do I say to people? What will they think if I don't drink? How will I have a night out with my husband?
A lot of this is sort of just day by day getting through those, those moments when you would drink.  Withdrawal, if you are physically addicted to alcohol, is incredibly dangerous. So, if you're at the point where you are physically addicted or you are worried about it beyond, I had a lot of hangovers, you really should work with a medical professional for a detox because it can be fatal.
Dr. Vickie: I'm glad you brought that up. But I do think dealing with those triggers and cravings is so important and I love that you mentioned using alternative ways to deal with the things that are going to set that trigger off. Do you have any top five suggestions on winding down or mitigating that?
Casey: What's interesting is in the beginning, the biggest trigger is hunger, which is kind of of funny and counterintuitive. So when I'm working with women and they are taking a a break from drinking, they're going from day one to day five to day seven to two weeks, I really encourage them to set an alarm for 3:30 or four, to, eat something with protein. So you are not going into the witching hour or getting dinner or driving home from the office when you are you are hungry. Cause that is a huge trigger to drink.
The other thing I really encourage women to do is to get all the alcohol out of the house. So you can talk to your partner about this. I mean, our partners support us in many things. When I stopped drinking, red wine was my sort  of kryptonite. So I told him I needed no wine at the house because I really love drinking.
And I knew it would be hard for me, like the elephant in the room, just constantly wearing me down. So he drank beer. We just just got all the wine out of the house. So that is sort of a visual cue seeing alcohol around you that triggers a craving to drink. So if you get rid of the visual cue and and you get rid of the ability to have that quick reward, meaning grab a  bottle, grab a drink, open it and have it hit your bloodstream. That gives you the chance to move through it. I mean, most cravings really only last 20 minutes. You can time them. Like I really want to drink, you eat something, you distract yourself. You can time when that craving goes away. So I would say hunger, getting the the visual cues and the easy access to alcohol out of your house, your; your visual field. And then  also identifying why you want to drink. So  if you  are just taking a break and you're not used to it, I always tell women, if they tell me they don't have a craving to drink in the first two weeks, like I won't believe them. It just doesn't happen.
So in the beginning, you really need that physical break from being able to hit that reward.  But after that, it's emotional most of the time. So it's  really important to lower the bar and to stay away from stress and overwhelm and drama.
But when you  want to drink first thing, eat something. But the second question is why? Why do you want to drink? Are you bored? Are you resentful? Are you irritated? Are you lonely?  All of those things you can solve for in different ways. And once you identify the emotion of why you want to drink, maybe you want to celebrate and want to take it even higher, then you you can problem solve for other ways to meet that need.  
D.r Vickie: I love that. That's really impactful. Those are some very practical steps that people can take. And I will just tell you the same could be said about chocolate chips. If I've got chocolate chips in the pantry, they're calling my name and I'll go in there and have a little handful. But if I don't have any chocolate chips, the pantry, I'm not going to eat chocolate. Availability is huge, whether it's snack food or alcohol or anything else.
We call those self binding techniques. And they work. They really do work, but they don't work in isolation. You have to implement these other things. And so tell me about the benefit of having a coach. Is this a one on one coaching that you do? Do you do group coaching? 
Casey: Yeah, I actually I did one on one for many years. I worked with over 150 women one on one. And then I have an online program. It's called the Sobriety Starter Kit that basically takes my one on one format and and practices and puts it in an online program that you can access and have in your back pocket at any time. It's designed to take women from day one to 106 months, a year and beyond, and give them the tools to do that. As part of that, I have an online community where I'm in there every single day and I  do group coaching as part of that as well. So, it's really important to realize that you are not alone in this and have really practical and positive and  empowering ways to reframe your habits and your thinking about alcohol to make those changes. 
Dr. Vickie: The power of community cannot be overstated. No matter what you're dealing with, the power of community is so important.  Well, I am so excited to know about your business and your coaching. And I'll put the links to all of that in the show notes so that any of our listeners can check that out.
And I appreciate you sharing all your words of wisdom with us. 
Casey: Thank you so much, Vickie,  I'm happy to be here.
  Dr. Vickie: Wow. Wasn't that fantastic? If you are sober curious and you are interested in checking out Casey Davidson's website, you can find her at Hello Someday Coaching. She offers her sobriety starter kit. She has a podcast and lots of resources on her blog. So if you're interested in cutting back on your drinking, then this is a fantastic resource for you.
Check out the link in the show notes.  If insomnia is more your problem, then you're going to want to check out six surprising reasons you're tossing and turning. That's my upcoming free live sleep masterclass on March 3rd, 5th and 8th. Registration is required and there's a link in the show notes or you can go to my website. 
   RESOURCES:
Hello Someday Coaching with Casey Davidson
Hello Someday Podcast
Six Surprising Reasons You're Tossing and Turning
The information contained in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not considered to be a substitute for medical advice. You should continue to follow up with your physician or health care provider and take medication as prescribed. Though the information in this podcast is evidence based, new research may develop and recommendations may change
 

Sleeping Pills and Potions - What works and what doesn't

 You're at the end of your rope, so you head to the pharmacy for the help you so desperately need to sleep. But wait, you aren't sure if it's safe, if it works, and if there's a better way.  Stay tuned to learn about the benefits, side effects, and risk of sleep aids. 
 I'm Dr.Vickie Petz Kasper. If you're ready to take control of your health, you're in the right  place. I'll give you practical steps to start your own journey toward better health because healthy looks great on you.
 This is episode 159, Sleeping Pills and Potions. What works and what doesn't. You know that poor sleep is associated with heart disease, cancer, diabetes, obesity, immune dysfunction, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, fatigue, irritability, and good grief, I could go on and on. So, taking something to help you sleep sounds like a good idea, right?  Today, we'll discuss what you need to know before you go and get a prescription, supplement, or over the counter sleeping aid.
Look, we have to sleep. Our very lives and health depend on it. But the struggle is real. Insomnia is one of the most common symptoms people go to the doctor or health care provider for treatment.  
And what if I told you that good sleep is possible without medications? Well, it is. In fact, the first line treatment recommended to treat insomnia is not medication. The standard recommendation for managing insomnia is to eliminate things that go bump in the night and keep you awake.  Or, to treat underlying diseases that disrupt sleep. It's not recommended to start with behavioral therapy or medications until these other things are maximized.
Ha! But good luck with that. If you go to your primary care provider and you don't get a prescription, I'll buy you a cup of coffee and we can both stay awake.  And, if you think you need to see a specialist, then you'll probably get to spend the night in a sleep lab hotel hooked up to a bunch of wires and you may get answers, like, a CPAP, and that's important if you have sleep apnea, but if not, you might not even hear from them. No wonder you're looking for a good solution to sleep.  And though medications are not the first line recommendation, that is the topic of today's episode. So let's get to it. We're going to start with prescription medications, then we'll talk about over the counter medications and wrap up with supplements. 
There are three classes of drugs approved to treat insomnia. Benzodiazepine receptor agonist, histamine receptor antagonist, and melatonin receptor agonist. Listening to all that medical jargon may be sufficient to put you to sleep. But wait, let me explain. You'll understand more after we go to mini medical school today and learn about receptors. 
These are made up of proteins and they receive chemical signals that produce a response.  Let me give you this analogy. You've got a lamp sitting on an end table, but it's not plugged in, so there's no light. And when you stick those two prongs into the socket, behold, now you can sit and read. And that's kind of how a receptor works.
The plug fits into the plug in. So an agonist is like the plug. It fits. It turns it on. It lets the electricity flow.  But, if you had a toddler in the house, you might want to plug in one of those little plastic things so he doesn't stick a butter knife in there and get shocked. So that would be an antagonist. 
Okay, now wake up and pay attention. We've got three classes of drugs to look at. Benzo receptor agonist and melatonin agonist. That plug in and histamine receptor antagonist that block the plugin. And then there's another category called other. We'll just call that the clapper, you know, clap, clap. And the light comes on, clap, clap, and the light goes off. 
There are eight drugs in the benzodiazepine receptor agonist family. And the first five are about my age, you know, born in the 60s. They are Estazolam, which is Prosom, Florazepam, which is Dalmane, Quamazepam, which is Doral, Temazepam, which is Restoril and Triazolam, which is Halcion. Now the millennials aren't benzos, but they're still benzo receptor agonist.
And you know, this generation got way more complicated spelling their kids' names, so I'm probably gonna have to sound them out like a first grade teacher on the first day of school. 
Eszopiclone is Lunesta, Zaleplon is Sonata. Zolpidem is Ambien.  Those older drugs are crankier and cause more dependence although Restoril is the nicest in the category. There are other benzos which are technically prescribed for anxiety and  some people do use them to help them sleep. Do they work?
Here's what the data says for the old guys. They help you fall asleep faster. A whole whopping 10 minutes faster. And they increase total sleep time by half an hour to an hour. That's it.  What about risk? Well, they make you sleepy, which is kind of the point, but also they can make you dizzy, which can make you fall if you get up and go to the bathroom during the night. And if you mix them with opioids, the reaction can be fatal.  
Now, the younger guys function about as well as the older ones, but they have shorter half lives, so their effects don't wear out their welcome so much with daytime grogginess. And they aren't so deadly when socializing with opioids. But rarely, they do some bizarre things like compel you to shop or gamble in the middle of the night. All for 10 minutes faster to go to sleep and half hour to an hour longer sleeping. 
Okay, clap on, clap off, let's talk about the other drugs.  These are dual orexin receptor antagonists.  Affectionately known as D O R A or Dora. 
The first one is Suvarexant, which is called Belsomra. The next one is Derodorexant, which sounds a lot like deodorant to me, and that's exactly what I'm gonna call it because the brand name is Quviviq. And finally, there is Limboxerant, which has a really cool brand name, Dayvigo.  What? You've never heard of any of these? Well, that's probably because they're slightly less effective than the other drugs. They help you go to sleep seven minutes faster. But the main side effect is sleepiness, and people generally say they slept better.
The next topic in pharmacology class in mini medical school is the histamine antagonist. You know, the little plastic thing that goes in the wall socket so your toddler doesn't.  Doxepin is a tricyclic antidepressant that functions this way, and even in low doses it causes the desirable effect of drowsiness. So, it's approved for the treatment of drowsiness deficit. 
Unfortunately, there are some drugs it doesn't play nice with. But, it does increase sleep time by Drum roll please! 25 to 30 minutes. Womp, womp, womp. And, it helps people stay asleep toward the end of the sleep cycle.
   And I think this underscores why one size does not fit all and prescriptions should be customized for individual needs.  The last class of drugs approved for the treatment of insomnia makes a lot of sense.  Ramelteon is a melatonin receptor agonist and the brand name Rosarem, get it? REM, R E M, as in rapid eye movement sleep.
It's got a good mechanism of action, a good name. Problem is, it doesn't work any better than placebo. So, you can skip the potential for fatigue, nausea, and worsening of liver disease and just take a sugar pill.  So, am I saying it doesn't work at all? Of course not. Why would it be approved if it didn't work?
Well, it's not in Europe, but it does work to lengthen sleep time by a grand total of seven minutes. And I don't know about you, but it's going to take more than seven minutes to get rid of the bags under these eyes.  So that's the gamut of drugs approved for the treatment of insomnia in the United States.
But wait, there's more. Just because the FDA doesn't approve something for a particular indication, that doesn't mean that doctors can't prescribe it. And sometimes, off label prescribing is a really good thing, though it's a set up for a knock down, drag out fight with your insurance company for coverage.
In addition to using the antidepressant Doxepin, many doctors prescribe other antidepressants for sleep. Things like Amitriptyline and Trazodone, even though the American Academy of Sleep Medicine advises against it because of side effects and no data showing that it works.
Now, I always recommend that you consult with your health care provider regarding your medications. Always, always, always.  But, I also recommend that they consult with up to date society recommendations and guidelines. That's just fair. And while they're at it, they should look at the potential adverse reactions.
So, now maybe you've decided to skip the copay and just help yourself to the sleep aid aisle of the pharmacy. You could even ask the pharmacist to guide you, and I recommend that. There are two over the counter medications approved to treat insomnia. They are diphenhydramine, commonly known as Benadryl, and doxalamine, commonly known as Unisom.
Side note, over the counter medications are regulated  FDA, And both of these drugs are histamine blockers. Therefore, all of the fun side effects that come with that, like dry mouth, GI distress, dizziness, trouble emptying your bladder, and of course, sedation, which is the desired side effect.
These medications are often combined with things like Advil or Tylenol with an added P. M. at the end, so you know what's in store for you. And here's what's in store for diphenhydramine. 8 less minutes to fall asleep and 12 more minutes of sleep. And for doxylamine, there's no data available.
That's it. That's what we've got. So, maybe now you've decided just to take matters into your own hands and look for a supplement. And because you've listened to my previous podcast episode about dementia, you're gonna skip right over the Prevagen, right? Promise me. Now, in the supplement section, you're going to walk in understanding that claims, concentrations, and ingredients are not guaranteed.
They're not regulated. They are, generally speaking, considered safe and ineffective. You heard that right. Safe. And ineffective. But what about melatonin? You swear it works, but does it?  Maybe. It is sedating in about 10 percent of people and in everyone else, it shifts the sleep phase.
So, there is a place for that such as jet lag, and I have an episode on jet lag in the show notes.  But even though it may help you drift off to sleep, it probably isn't going to help you stay asleep. The half life is less than an hour, and in some people it causes stomach cramps, irritability, and even depression.
It's best used in combination with other things that regulate your circadian rhythm. More to come on that. But a big one is light. And so this probably would be a great time to tell you about some exciting news I have for you.
I have an upcoming series of live webinars to talk about six hidden things that keep you tossing and turning at night.   And soon you'll have access to an online course called Unlock the Secret to Sleep, your personal sleep solution. I have been working so hard on this for so long that I cannot wait to share it with you. 
I want to help you reset your sleep and get your Z's. Now there are other supplements labeled as sleep aids and most of them again are safe and probably not effective. The exceptions on safety are kava and valerian root. Both of those have been associated with liver damage. Now it's rare, but it's very serious.
Other things you might find on this aisle are chamomile, Glycine, Gryphonia, Hops,  , Kava, L theanine, Lavender, , Passionflower, Nightshade, Skullcap, Strymonium, Tryptophan, , and Wild Jujube Seeds.  They're all equally effective and work every bit as well as a sugar pill, but hey, sugar pills can have powerful placebo effects.
And one last thing I want to mention, and that is cannabis. Bottom line is there's not enough research to say one way or another, whether it works. It does have the potential for addiction and it's not legal everywhere. So there's that.  But also it's a problem that if you quit, you'll likely experience sleep disturbances that can last for several months.   
 The bottom line is, I want you to know that you shouldn't have to choose between serious health consequences of poor sleep and the side effects and risk of sleeping pills and potions.  If you suffer from insomnia, I do encourage you not to stop any medications without medical supervision and to have an honest conversation with your doctor. And if they want access to my resources, just give them my email address. I'm happy to share and they're 100 percent legit, but if good sleep eludes you, I want you to know while there's no magic pill for perfect sleep, there is a proven path to natural, restorative rest that can transform your life. Imagine waking up energized, focused, and ready to tackle your day without relying on sleeping pills or potions.
 Are you tired of tossing and turning at night? Desperately wishing for deep, restful sleep? 
I'm hosting two exclusive live webinars where I'll share my evidence based approach to achieving consistent quality sleep. Join me on March 3rd or March 5th to discover how to fall asleep naturally. and wake up refreshed, practical strategies to boost your energy and mental clarity, and solutions to common sleep challenges that keep you awake at night.
 Plus you'll get a chance to ask your most pressing sleep questions during a live Q& A session. So don't miss this opportunity. To revolutionize your sleep.
Click the link in the show notes to save your spot now. Registration is required. And make sure you're on my email list to receive exclusive pre webinar insights and special bonuses. Your journey to better sleep starts here. Sign up right now and let's transform your nights and supercharge your days.  Because good sleep is crucial for good health and healthy looks great on you.  
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The Risky Business of Poor Sleep

  You know that poor sleep leaves you dragging through the day, feeling drained and foggy brained, and more than a little bit grouchy. But did you know that poor sleep can be deadly? Stay tuned to learn about seven serious diseases linked to poor sleep  I'm Dr.Vickie Petz Kasper. Healthy Looks Great On You podcast takes you to mini medical school so you can learn the power of lifestyle medicine.
If you're ready to take control of your health, you're in the right  place.
This is episode 158, The Risky Business of Poor Sleep, Seven Serious Diseases.  You know you need to get a good night's sleep.  You want to rest and wake up feeling refreshed and restored, but it's not that simple for everyone. Even though sleep is essential for life, chronic insomnia affects 30 percent of adults, and half of all people experience some degree of insomnia during their lives. So if you struggle to sleep, you certainly aren't alone. But, before you start planning a zombie party for all of your friends who are raring to go long after bedtime, let's take a look at the impact on your health. And, spoiler alert, it ain't good for ya.  Not only does poor sleep affect the quality of life and emotional well being, it's associated with an increased risk of seven serious diseases.
I mean, it's bad enough to slog through the day sleepy, irritable, and feeling blah, but people with significant insomnia tend to have a shorter lifespan.  I mean, if they know Jesus, they can sleep in heavenly peace, but in the meantime, it's best to maximize restorative sleep because of the impact on health. 
And before you reach for the medicine bottle or go shopping down the supplement and sleep aid aisle, you're going to want to stay tuned to this podcast because next week we're going to break down all the pills and potions. But this week we're going to talk about what the following conditions all have in common: heart disease, , type 2 diabetes, depression, obesity, Alzheimer's dementia, immune dysfunction, and certain cancers. And you don't even need to go to mini medical school to guess that poor sleep increases the risk of developing all seven of these serious diseases. Good sleep is crucial for good health.  
I know, I know, you get it. You know sleep is super important. You want to sleep. You've tried to sleep, but you can't. I hope you know, I feel your pain. I've been there and I understand the frustration of going to bed and knowing you're not going to sleep. That's why I've created some resources for you. Head on over to my website, www.healthylooksgreatonyou. com and grab "Turn Off Your Mind and Sleep."  It's a free downloadable tip sheet. It's not a cure, but it's a start. And then in March of 2025, I'll be doing a series of live webinars called " Six Hidden Reasons You're Tossing and Turning." Then in the middle of the month, I'll release my online course: "Unlock the Secret to Sleep" to help you get the Z's you need.
And if you take advantage of any of the free resources on my website, you'll automatically be subscribed to get every episode of this podcast, plus all those bonuses right in your inbox. And you'll be the first to know about additional opportunities to improve your sleep and health.  Now last month, I did a series of podcast episodes on dementia and now I'm transitioning to sleep.
But before we exit this road Let's take a look at the intersection between brain health and sleep. I've already given you the list of seven diseases associated with poor sleep, and so this is not in order, but logically I thought we would discuss Alzheimer's dementia first. And if you missed the series, there are links in the show notes to each episode, but if you just want the bottom line.
Lifestyle modifications are your best weapon to prevent this disease which is exploding in our aging population.  Now, today in mini medical school, we're going to learn about beta amyloid, which is sometimes referred to as amyloid beta.  That's kind of weird. I guess this peptide is a little confused about which name comes first.
You can call me beta amyloid or you can call me amyloid beta, but you don't have to call me Ray.  Okay, that was a poor attempt at humor,  but I stand by the fact that laughter is still the best medicine.  What's in a name? Well, Dr. Alzheimer himself identified senile plaques, which are those buildups of beta amyloid in the brain, as well as neurofibrillary tangles which come from Tau proteins. And he discovered all of this in the early 1900s.  In people with Alzheimer's, amyloid proteins stick together and get folded over and they form plaques and that is toxic to brain cells. In fact, beta amyloid plaques are the hallmark finding in the brains of people with Alzheimer's. But here's the deal.  I've got amyloids and you've got amyloids in your brain, too.  But if you're normal, then your glymphatic system washes it away and breaks it down.  Want to guess when this happens?  Yep, while you were sleeping. 
Or in the case of insomnia, not. And clearly, there's an increased risk of Alzheimer's dementia in people with mid life insomnia.
 As it turns out, a lot of things in midlife have long term effects on our health. So maybe if you think you got away with not paying attention to your health when you were young, now is the time to reset and change directions.  Need a little more motivation?
Well, let's move on to the increased risk of cardiovascular disease. And that's a catch all term that refers to heart disease, heart attack, and high blood pressure. Cardio means heart, and vascular refers to blood vessels. And guess what? You've got blood vessels in your heart and throughout your body. So what's sleep got to do with it?
Well, I'm glad you asked. Insomnia is considered an independent risk factor for cardiovascular disease and is associated with a higher chance of dying from heart disease or anything else for that matter. We call that mortality. And listen, I know we are all going to die of something, but the goal of this podcast is to give you information, motivation, and inspiration to take care of this one body God gave us to last a lifetime on this earth.
So yeah, I'm going to die of something and so are you. But I'd really like to stick around for a while with the people I love, wouldn't you? And I want to be healthy enough to play and enjoy life. And cardiovascular disease can rob you of the ability to do anything that requires stamina.
So don't give me that, we're all gonna die of something line. Eventually your car is going to have enough miles that the engine fails. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't get your oil changed on a regular basis.
Maintenance for your health is so much more important than maintenance for your vehicle. I mean, you can't replace your body. So pay attention to your heart health and sleep. They're all related. Now let's explore why poor sleep  affects heart health. You know, when you sleep, not only is your glymphatic system clearing out toxins from your brain, but your sympathetic nervous system is just kind of chill, and your blood pressure drops.
But when instead your blood vessels don't relax, that causes an elevation in blood pressure. And not only does that increase the risk of hypertension and heart disease, But also stroke.  Now, this is interesting. If you can't sleep because you wake up during the night, or you wake up super early in the morning, then your blood pressure probably doesn't do the normal dip. 
But, if you have trouble falling asleep at the beginning of the night, it doesn't seem to have as much effect on your blood pressure. You see, sleep is very specific and complex, and the type of sleep trouble you have affects your risk. If you're interested in learning more about blood pressure, then when you go to my website, healthylooksgreatonyou.com, and search for four reasons to control your blood pressure, There'll be an episode that pops up and of course I'll put a link in the show notes.  Okay, we've covered the brain and the heart and blood vessels. Now sweetie, it's time to talk about those sugar plums dancing in your head because insomnia is associated with an increased risk of type 2 diabetes as well as progression from pre diabetes to type 2 diabetes. 
Want some good news? Improving your sleep can improve your glycemic control. That means it's easier to normalize your blood sugars with a good full eight hours of shut eye. And specifically, short sleep duration is associated with an increased risk of diabetes.  Both inflammation and insulin resistance are increased with poor sleep. 
And if you're interested in more of the science made simple, listen to the episode, "Why is sleeping so hard?" But here's the deal, sugar causes inflammation. And insulin is the key that opens the door to move the sugar out of the blood vessels and into your cells. So, it can be used as fuel. But with type 2 diabetes, this mechanism is impaired.
 This all goes back to a coordinated effort by the body to balance various hormones like growth hormone, insulin, and cortisol. And yes, it's all affected by sleep..  Next in the list of seven deadly diseases associated with poor sleep is cancer.
In fact, researchers have proposed a 24 percent increased risk of cancer in people with insomnia. And it's certain cancers in particular, like lung cancer, colorectal cancer, breast cancer, and ovarian cancer. Turns out that disrupting your internal clock does more than keep you wide eyed and bushy tailed.
It's theorized that cancer cells may take advantage of lower levels of the sleep hormone, melatonin. You see, melatonin is released in the brain and  sends out signals to synchronize many organs and bodily functions. And it plays a huge role in hormone balance. Things like estrogen, but also cortisol.
And this affects cellular growth and repair at the DNA level. That's where genes are switched on and off by the immune system.  At the most basic level, cancer is an abnormal growth of cells. So, it's plausible that skimping on the cleanup and reboot system for your body's defenses gives the enemy an advantage.
Both inflammation and insulin resistance contribute to DNA damage and that can increase the risk for cancer. I feel like I could just repeat the word inflammation with each of these seven diseases. Inflammation in the blood vessels affects every organ supplied by.. blood.
 And well, that pretty much covers it all,  but also inflammation's life partner is the immune system.  You know, they're still married, but they fight a lot trying to find the perfect balance between keeping out foreign invaders that have come to kill and destroy like infection and cancer and not going nuclear and exploding your body's own cells.
 So that leads to number five on the list of deadly diseases associated with poor sleep, and that is immune dysfunction,  and if you think you have a dysfunctional family Let me tell you about the immune system Try putting the bone marrow, the thymus gland, the spleen, mucous membrane, skin, tonsils, and lymph nodes in a room together and watch them go into attack mode.
They'll crank out some white blood cells, antibodies, cytokine, and compliment to mount a defense against infection. And that's a good thing. When bacteria, viruses, parasites, and fungus breaches our first line of protection, We need a strong immune system to fight them off. Turns out that fighting off infection is a process that's also related to tumor suppression like we discussed with cancer.
But here's the deal. The immune family is a rowdy bunch and sometimes they miss the target and attack their own. I mean, you've seen a room full of toddlers, right? They want everything. That's mine. It's mine. That's their favorite phrase. So when they get overzealous, it causes autoimmune disease. Okay, now this is getting personal.
I have an autoimmune disease called myasthenia gravis. In this condition, the body makes antibodies against itself. And we all know that a house divided against itself cannot stand. And that's what happened to me. Literally, my muscles were so weak, I couldn't stand for very long, walk very far, or use my arms for any length of time.
Because every time my nerves tried to send a signal to my muscles, my misguided immune system interrupted the neurotransmitter as if it were there to hurt me. Now, what causes myasthenia gravis? Well, it's not really known, but guess what? Poor sleep is associated with immune dysfunction. Now, I was a self described health nut for many years.
I ate a lot of whole, unprocessed foods, exercised regularly, managed my stress pretty well, and had a healthy group of connections.  Oh, and my mama always said, don't drink, don't smoke, don't chew, and don't go with those who do.
So I've never been one to be exposed to unhealthy levels of harmful substances. Now, I just listed five of the six pillars of lifestyle medicine. Hmm, let me see, what did I leave out? Oh, yeah, sleep. Until MG knocked me flat on my back, I ignored the importance of rest and sleep on my health  and it caught up with me.
And that's one of the reasons I'm so passionate about restorative sleep.  Let those who've lived like the walking dead serve as a warning.  And if dementia, heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and immune health aren't enough to convince you that you need to prioritize sleep. Then how about obesity? 
And listen, do you see a theme developing? Aberrations in the circadian rhythm disrupt normal melatonin production, which in turn has a powerful influence in hormone regulation and balance. And all of that affects your levels of hunger and satisfaction, and ultimately, the number on the scales.  If you've ever wanted to reset your metabolism, then focus on resetting your sleep because they are closely related.
And obesity increases the risk of heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure, and of course, type 2 diabetes. This is starting to feel like a snowball, gaining more and more waist circumference as it rolls down the hill. Not only does lack of sleep slow down your metabolism, it increases the level of the hunger hormone, ghrelin, and it decreases the satiety hormone, leptin, that tells your brain you're full. 
 I've already mentioned the connection between insulin and sleep. And insulin resistance is also a factor in excess weight gain. Both insomnia and obesity are epidemic. And look, you're not going to lose weight by sleeping better at night.
But you might gain weight by not sleeping at night. And it might be easier for you to stay active and eat healthy if you get a good night's rest.  Gosh, this whole thing is kind of depressing.  You knew I was going there, didn't you? The seventh serious disease associated with poor sleep is depression.
And get this, people with insomnia have a tenfold increased risk of depression. In one of my previous episodes, I called sleep the mood mechanic. There's a link in the show notes. But on the other side of the pillow. If you have depression, you have 75 percent more trouble falling asleep.
Now, how do they measure that? Well, in the past, they relied on surveys where research subjects just recalled their sleep. But now, we're getting more and more data from wearables, like watches and rings and smart beds, like the sleep number bed. But the fact remains that sometimes it's hard to tell. If depression causes sleep disruption, Or the other way around.
Listen, don't stay awake at night worrying about it. If you have depression, talk to your doctor or healthcare provider about the right treatment for you and your insomnia. Because I'm guessing, if you have one, you have both.  However, that leads me to reason number two that I'm passionate about sleep.  The average doctor only gets two and a half hours of training on sleep in medical school.
So there's that. And the number one recommendation to treat insomnia is not medication. So, you're going to want to stay tuned and learn more so you can lower your risk of dementia, cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, obesity, cancer, immune dysfunction, and depression.  Sleeping may not come easy for you, but it's worth the effort to give your body a chance to do the work on the night shift and restore your mind and your health. Because healthy looks great on you. 
  
   the information contained in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not considered to be a substitute for medical advice. You should continue to follow up with your physician or health care provider and take medication as prescribed. Though the information in this podcast is evidence based, new research may develop and recommendations may change.
 
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Effective Strategies to Connect with Others

 You are really going to enjoy my guest today.
Today I have Amberly Neese on the podcast. She is a featured speaker, emcee, and comedian. She lives in Prescott, Arizona. And she is the author of several books, Untangling Faith, Friendship Initiative, Common Ground, and Belonging Project. 
And I can tell you from personal experience that she doesn't just talk about connection, she lives it.
 I'm Dr.Vickie Petz Kasper. If you're ready to take control of your health, you're in the right  place. Whether you're focused on prevention or you're trying to manage a condition. I'll give you practical steps to start your own journey toward better health because healthy looks great on you.
This is episode 157. Effective strategies to connect with others.  
Dr. Vickie: Welcome, Amberly. I am so happy to have you on the show today. Now, I always like to start by talking about how we met. And I met you back in the fall in a very remote spot in the woods in California. We spent a week together and you made me laugh and you inspired me and you gave me hope that there are very practical ways that people can learn to connect with each other. So tell us a little bit about your ministry and what you're doing.
 Amberly: Yeah. So I am an author and speaker and comedian and actually speaker coach as well. , but my, , my heart's passion is connecting people to God, connecting people to others and connecting people to who God has created them to be.
And so connection is my jam. So I'm very excited about that.  I am connected to a really cute guy of 32 years, my husband, Scott, and we have two adult children who one lives across the country, which is not working for me and a son, an adult son who is going to school and living with us. But, I am so thankful to say that I have done pretty extensive research  on not only the benefits of community, but actually how to get into community.
And so. If in any way I could be an encouragement to somebody listening about how to how to find their tribe and learn to thrive I would love it. I have bible studies on it. I have , all sorts of resources on it because for me, this is really a pivotal part of a thriving christian life for sure.
 Dr. Vickie: You know, I talk a lot about the impact of loneliness on your health, and adults experience loneliness in increasing numbers since the pandemic. Anywhere from one in three to one in two. And so, if you're speaking to that person who's having trouble connecting, where do you even start?  
Amberly: That's such a good question. And I think, in full disclosure,  That you would like connection is the first thing loneliness to say. I need a friend. I want connection is so vulnerable. And I, so I think it's so courageous for somebody to get to a place where they say,  I can't do this on my own. It is not good for me to be alone.
It's not good for people to live in isolation. And so I think the first step is just admitting. I mean, it sounds like I'm leading an AA meeting and I'm okay with that. But the first thing is to admit you have a problem to admit that loneliness is a factor. The second thing is to kind of, it's almost like a dating profile. Now, I have, I've never, praise the lord, I've never had to do the swiping left swiping right. I don't even know what those things mean. But if I had to re enter that world, I would be very clear about what I was looking for, what I offer  and what I'm looking for. And, I think that the same thing happens in friendship.
You have to figure out, what is it that you're looking for? Do you want somebody to sit with you while you knit every day? Okay, I mean, good luck with that, but it's possible that that's what you want. Do you want somebody to take walks with you? Do you want somebody to be able to share your secrets with?
Do you want somebody who you can go country line dancing on Tuesday nights? I mean, you have to figure out what it is that you want, but also you have to figure out what it is, what is it that you have to offer.  And for me, and I know Vickie for you as well, this is very possible. I had to be honest with the fact that I don't have a plethora of extra time.
I just can't lunch all the time. Like so many of the people in my life where they have this incredible margin of time. I don't. So I have a limited amount of time. So I had to be honest that in a friendship, that's part of what I bring to the table, but I also bring encouragement because that's something I'd love to do.
I'd love to encourage people. I. I bring honesty.  Some people can't handle the truth, so I'm looking for friends who can handle the truth. And not only that, I'm looking for friends who are what I call love and shove friends, which are people who love me where I'm at, but shove me to greater things and want the best for me.
And when I'm not doing what's best for me, that they love me enough to say, girl,  cut it out.  I love you. And I would love to help you be part of getting better at this. So you have to figure out what do you bring to the table. So admit you need a tribe, figure out what it is that you bring and what it is that you need.
And then this sounds like such an old school kind of sage thing, but go to the need, which means figure out something you're passionate about, something that makes your teeth itch when you think about it. It's something that , makes you passionate, good or bad, and then be part of the solution. And in doing so, you will find people with equal,  passion for the things you're passionate about.
If it's hiking, if it's women's rights, if it's whatever it happens to be, if it's feeding the homeless, find the need and go there.  And, I promise you, you will find people who are like minded, maybe not perfect runoff into the sunset best friends, but you'll find people who are like minded and you'll be reminded of the power of community.
Dr. Vickie: You are spot on with vulnerability because like you, I'm an extrovert. I think we've established that. But during the years of the pandemic, I experienced the most loneliness that I have ever felt in my entire life. And it was extremely painful. And it was good to admit it. And I remember I wrote in a blog post one time and I said, I'm lonely. And it felt shameful almost.  
Amberly: 100%. I mean, the word lonely has one in it. To say  I'm by myself feels so difficult. However, I love that in many translations of the Bible, it said that Jesus went to lonely places, meaning he felt like, man, he had perfect connection with the Father and yet he felt like, man, nobody kind of understands my plight right now. 
And , I think we all have those, we all have those seasons where you're like, wow, I am knee high and whatever it is I'm going through and I don't feel like anybody understands this, but, you're not alone. That's the first thing I'm going to say. , you're not alone. But the other thing is, I truly believe, the brilliant doctor in you, I'm sure is going to talk about this later on.
Your intro is going to talk about this particular thing, but I truly believe all the brain research, all of the physiological research says we are wired to connect with others. We are, we are literally fashioned to be stronger in number. And, no matter what your ideology is, as far as where we came from and how we got here, community was a vital part of all of that.
And so I think,  to recognize that you need other people, it means you, you get to a place of humility that you're probably better to be with anyway, if you didn't feel like you needed people, it's probably why you don't have people because nobody wants to be with you.  But if you get to a place where you say, I could use some help in this area.  What a beautiful invitation for others to get there. And as you said, the statistics are staggering. Before COVID January of 2020, more than half of Americans admitted to being lonely and 61 percent or something like that said they don't have anybody to tell a secret to. So sister sledge, you and I were not the only ones that were feeling lonely. During COVID, and I think it's gotten worse. Honestly, I think COVID actually exacerbated an already difficult situation.
Dr. Vickie: I do too, but I think it, it did shine a spotlight on it. And I also wanted to tell you that I've never felt my teeth itch before, so I don't really know exactly what that means, but I do think that making connections takes time. And that's one of the frustrations.
Amberly: oh, Absolutely. It does take time, but  at the risk of sounding like I'm giving like too broad a statement - anything worth having is worth investing the time in. And so if you say, I don't have time to exercise, but I do have time to die early, right? That's essentially what I say when I don't exercise.  If I want to have all the benefits and you're going to give us all  the medical ramifications of loneliness and they're crazy. You have to recognize, do I want to do any of those things? It's like the commercials on television when they say you're going to have clear skin, but side effects may include proclivity to gamble, , you want suicidal thoughts. And I think, you know what, I think I'm going to stick with my itchy skin. Thank you so much. Right, you have to weigh the consequences. And, in this case, the benefits to your health are so  profound.
It seems almost ridiculous that we would say, I don't have time for friends. You may look at your calendar and think that, but I would like to say, I think that you need to make the time you need to prioritize it because you need to prioritize you and your health.
So I don't have the medical degree. I just have a lot of mileage on my friendship vehicle and have made tons of mistakes and would like to say my life is richer because of the people that I've opened my heart to. and open my calendar to as well. 
Dr. Vickie: That is so true. And it's not just your physical health. It's also your mental health and your spiritual health.  And I love that you talk about what we have to give to a friendship because let's be honest, some people can be a drain.  
Amberly: True, true, true, true. And You know, my mom used to say to me, baby girl, there are two people, the two types of people, givers and takers, which is a kind of jaded.
So can I tell you this sweet, the sweetest story? I love this so much. So for my last birthday,  I think it's the best birthday I've ever had. Okay. So I, I'm 55. I just turned 55. So I'm finally the speed limit. Excited about that. And I have a group of girlfriends that we've worked hard to invest in one another and it's not all rainbows and happy faces. It doesn't look like Gilmore girls all the time. We do life together and sometimes it's happy and sometimes it's hard and there's lots in between. We support each other. Months before my birthday, one of the ladies said, save this weekend, don't make any plans. And I said, okay, what are we doing? She said, you're letting me take care of this. I said, okay, again, for me, Vickie, you know,  I do like to know the plans, right? I I love scripture that says, I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. But I am always like, could you let me in on the plans? And that's not what he promises. So she says, let me take care of the plans. So  when all was said and done,  A group of ladies picked me up and we drove two hours to Phoenix and we went thrift shopping. Why? Because that's my favorite thing to do.
Most of these ladies had never been thrift shopping. They're in a financial echelon, they don't have to worry about thrift shopping, but they did it because I love it. And then we had dinner and we had my favorite food and then they said, Oh, we better hurry up. We've got a show. I said a show and I'm thinking my husband teaches theater.
I know all the shows that are happening in Phoenix and I'm thinking I wonder what show we're going to. Are we going to this one? Are we going to this one?  And one of them had asked me almost over a year ago, Hey, you inspire us when you speak, who inspires you? And I gave her a list of five people. She knew four of the five, but she didn't know the fifth one.
So she looked it up and that person actually happened to be speaking in Phoenix the weekend of my birthday. And so they surprised me with one of my favorite speakers and Vickie I think it was my favorite birthday, not because I got the most amazing gifts, although I'm thankful for the gifts I got, it's because for the first time in my life, I felt like a group of ladies  saw me and celebrated me. 
And that's a sweet story, but I can tell you that's 54 years of not necessarily doing community right. But they, however that happened, they felt like I see them and I celebrate them. And so that's what they wanted to do for me  and seriously, sweetest birthday ever. And, again, long time coming.
I made a lot of friendship mistakes. I, I've dropped the friendship ball a lot and I've hurt people and I've had to make amends for that. So I'm thankful that there is hope. There is hope for all of us, even those. Weirdos who like thrift shopping and I'm so thankful for that. 
Dr. Vickie: That is so beautiful. And I think it demonstrates what we talked about earlier, and that is vulnerability. You have to have vulnerability to have a true relationship.
Amberly: Totally. As you know, I think you and I spend enough time, , you're the master at this, but I'm a Padawan learner on this, the gift of questions. I can't encourage you enough to, if you're looking for a community to get yourself a couple of great questions  that help you get to know people better. And what's so funny is that people are like, Amberly, you're such a great conversationalist. And I'm like, no,  I just ask good questions. And you brought the conversation.
But at the end of the conversation, again, I had a group of ladies who wanted to  celebrate me and to help me know that I was seen. Why? Because I've asked questions and I've gotten in their world and I've done my best to try to remember stuff. If you tell me something, Vickie, like, this is my favorite Starbucks drink, it goes in my phone under your contact. And if I ever want to meet you, I look up your, your Starbucks order and I bring it to you on the way. And people are like, how do you do this? And I'm like, because of Jesus and Google. I just, I keep all this stuff together so that you feel like I see you. 
Dr. Vickie: That's so intentional and I think that that's really important in relationships to be intentional.  
Totally. Win-tentional is what I call it. You know,  it sounds like, , you know, strategy, strategery, , as they say in the office, but. The truth is it is intentional. It does take effort. There's no doubt about there is no easy button on community. There's no easy button on friendship.  Heck, we're two or more gathered, there's also conflict, right? So you have to work those things out. And last time I checked, it takes time and energy and investment and vulnerability, all those things, but worth it.  So worth it. 
Dr. Vickie:  I think that is so good and it encourages people who maybe feel like they're on the outside looking in because I think a lot of times people think, Oh, they're in a friend group and I just wish I could be like that. And so what advice do you have for people to just start being intentional and to start connecting?  
Amberly: So, first of all, I've  opened my Facebook feed and gotten my feelings hurt so many times I can't even tell you. So I've been on the outside looking in. So there's a couple of things. The first one is, I've also called people and said, Hey, the next time you go to that thing, let me know.
I would love to be a part of that. That looked like so much fun. So again, you're admitting to yourself and another,  I could use this. But the second thing is start your own party.  Invite.  This sounds like such a third grade thing, but invite people that you see that were also not at said get together and think, you know what? Vickie's not in any of those pictures. I bet Vickie would be, would be up for that. If that was your thing.
We have a new game that we love in our house called the Bible is Funny, hilarious. I get no kickbacks for saying this one of the greatest games. And guess what? It costs 0 to open up and play it in my house. 
It might cost me some chips and salsa to invite people over for a game night, but if I'm the instigator and again, sometimes you ask and people say no, and that's hard, but what if it works out?  Well, then you've gotten to have chips and salsa with somebody who's choosing to spend time with you. You get to have a great time of games and then you find out more about them. They find out more about you and you can figure it out. Again, it's not formulaic because it's people.  But, that would be what I would say is, again, go to the need, be part of that. Speaking of Facebook, and again, social media is such a  hotbed, but one thing about Facebook that's fabulous, there is a group for everything.
Blonde people who love Pomeranians. There's probably a Facebook group, hikers in the county, you know, big eyebrows who love, I don't even know, chess. I promise you for every walk of life, there is a Facebook group. And so start maybe, on a very, easy level, which is connecting with people online with similar things.
And then once you practice that a little bit, then move on to the next thing and maybe again connect with somebody. Hey, can I meet you for coffee?  One of the best is 'Wow, I really admire the things that you're doing right now.'  At work or whatever it happens to be. 'Can we meet for coffee? Can I talk to you about some of that stuff?' News flash people love to talk about themselves and they love to talk about the stuff they're passionate about. So why not make it about them?  And in doing so you may make a connection that you are forever thankful for.
Dr. Vickie: That is such good advice, and you know, I moved to a new town about a year ago, and so it was a big change for me. I didn't have the group of friends around me that I had always had, and it's not easy to make new friends. It's not easy to connect in a new place, and I'm thankful to say that I'm kind of part of multiple groups now, and I'm very appreciative for, uh, the people that reached out to me, and it has made such a difference. But it's hard.  
 Amberly: Absolutely it is. And, we had the same thing. That's why I wrote my Bible study about finding your tribe, is that both my husband and I struggled terribly moving to a community we couldn't wait to live in. I love this place, but it felt so cliquey. It really feels cliquey when you're on the outside. But then the other thing is once you are in a group, remember that, remember the sting of feeling like an outsider and make sure there is always a chair available at the table, always.  
Because there are people that do that, where they're like, well now that I'm in, let's close the gates. And it's like, wait, wait, wait, there are other people who could benefit from this.  And I'm going to say especially to older ladies, and I consider myself one of those older ladies. Please be on the lookout for those young moms who are on the struggle bus. Those young women who look like they have all the things because they're because their Instagram page is on point.  But the truth is they are as lonely or more lonely than my generation than yours, I mean, you and I are in the same generation, but, just think that through. Don't just look for people who look like you and who vote like you and who think like you do. Stretch out and make a difference. The Great Commission says go to Samaria, go to Judea, right? I think  the Great Commission applies to those of us in friendship and connection as well is get out of your comfort zone. It's not just about you, right? 'Can I bring you a meal? Can I help you baby hang out with your kids one night so that you're not alone? Can I make killer microwave popcorn would love to bring that to you.' Whatever the thing is, make it simple. It does not have to be difficult, but make it about connection and pour into others. And, I keep going back to the Bible because it's such a beautiful love note of connection, but the Proverbs tells us that those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. And I don't know about you, but I could always use refreshment. And so, I think that that's, that's such an important thing when we make it about other people. I don't know how the, how the heavenly math works, but it works out when we make it about other people that somehow we  reap the best blessings for sure. 
Dr. Vickie: Well that is so incredibly rich and I have not yet got to experience sitting in the audience with you on the stage but I hope that that is something that happens in the future.  I would love to get you booked to speak in my town and at my church and for anyone that's interested in having you as a speaker they can visit your website and there's a link in the show notes.  
Amberly: Absolutely. I would super love that. And if you end up booking me, those of you who are listening, if you book me, just say that Dr. Vickie sent you and I will give you the friends and family discount.   I love it.
Dr. Vickie: Do you have any last words of wisdom for our listeners?  
Amberly: My family was watching the chosen this week, and I know that there's some people that they're not chosen fans, and that's okay. But, they took some creative license that I thought was so brilliant, which is when Jesus was preaching in order for all the crowds to be able to hear. He would say something and his disciples would just repeat the truth to so that everybody could hear. For those who are struggling with loneliness, I just want to encourage them. Just continue to speak truth to repeat the truth. You know, right? You don't have to create your own truth, repeat the truth, to not only those in your that come into your sphere of influence, but also to the person in the mirror and remind yourself  you are loved. You are chosen. You are  beloved. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. And when you begin to do that, I can tell you people love to be encouraged. And when you repeat the truth that you know to those around you, I promise it will have an effect and you will make a difference. And that dissipates a lot of loneliness. So please continue to spread the truth and love people well.
Dr. Vickie:  I think my oxytocin levels just went up so high. Thank you for that. And yes, we are very much chosen fans in this family, and they do take some creative license, but they also just make it real.
Amberly: Agreed. We watched the episode with Peter walking on water and him holding onto Jesus. And I know that those are actors. I know they were reading a script, but I just found myself wrapping my arms around Jesus thinking, don't let go, you know, so great. So I'm with you. I'm a huge fan, but, thankful for that. Again, they're just repeating the truth that they know. And, I think it makes a difference.
So thank you so much for this. Thank you for your podcast. I'm just going to say, I know it takes time. I know it takes effort, and I know this is a passion area of yours, but you have spoken truth and echoed that. And I just want to say thank you so much from a listener who's crazy about you.
Dr. Vickie: Well, thank you so much for sharing your expertise on connection with us. This has been just great. Love you..
Amerly: My pleasure. I love you right back. Have a great day. 
 
Dr. Vickie: Wow, this was such a great episode. It's just gold, and I know that Amberly said I was going to share some medical information with you. But, you know what? I just want to let this sit right where it is, because I think this is an episode you're going to want to listen to over and over again. Maybe you want to go and read the transcript, and I think you'll want to share it with a friend.
And if you don't have a friend, maybe this is a good way to  start a conversation. I love it when you share the podcast episodes and I know that this one in particular will give you some practical information on sharing connections with others. And I will put an episode to my previous podcast on loneliness in the show notes so that you can get that medical information.
But I think this is just powerful all by itself.
   
   The information contained in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not considered to be a substitute for medical advice. You should continue to follow up with your physician or health care provider and take medication as prescribed. Though the information in this podcast is evidence based, new research may develop and recommendations may change.
 
RESOURCES :
AMBERLY NEESE
The Deadly Epidemic of Loneliness
From Loneliness to Belonging
The Bible is Funny card game