Intentional steps for habit change and managing stress with Shelley Fourney

 Have you ever seen a therapist or maybe you've wanted to see a therapist and you haven't? Well, in today's episode, you are going to visit with Shelly Forney, and she is a licensed therapist who specializes in solution focus brief therapy.   Now, I'm not gonna promise that you're going to have all the tools you need to navigate whatever stress is going on in your life, but if you're trying to make a habit change or if you just need a starting place to take those first small steps, you're going to love this interview.

 I'm Dr.Vickie Petz Kasper. If you're ready to take control of your health, you're in the right  place. Whether you're focused on prevention or you're trying to manage a condition. I'll give you practical steps to start your own journey toward better health because healthy looks great on you.  

Shelley is a licensed clinical social worker who practices as an individual therapist. Her favorite thing to dois help people move forward, one little baby step at a time, not big steps.

When people try to manage stress, they tend to plan for the next six months, but Shelley encourages them to think about what needs to happen to get through today. She asks questions to guide people to think about what works for them.

She says, " I'm not an expert on your life, but you are. My job is to ask you good questions help you facilitate what it is you want." 

What works for one person, doesn't necessarily work for another. You are the expert on you, so if someone tells you what you should do about stress, anxiety, sleep and depression, it often doesn't work. 

You don't need 20 tips, you need a solution that works for you. That's what I teach in my sleep course. 

If someone tells you to change a habit, like quit smoking, Shelley asks why it matters to them, not the doctor. Because it has to be important, or they won't be successful. 

Shelley uses Solution Focus Brief therapy. Her approach is to ask her clients, "What do you want?" then she helps them move forward. 

In particularly stressful situations where there's been a loss she tries to help them get through minute by minute, or a week at at time. It's effective and rewarding. 

She recommends starting with what is working in your life. We all have routines that help us stop and head back in the direction we want to do. 

It's not a quick fix, but it can impact your day using tiny steps. 

For someone deep in grief, it might mean getting through the next hour, by accomplishing basic things, like eating and drinking. Shelley views her role as validating the next tiny step they've decided to take. 

She ask really good questions and people come up with solutions and how to change things in their lives. She listens and helps them find things in their life that will work for them. 

When it comes to spinning thoughts, which is a form of feeling anxious, she recommends practicing gratefulness. You can't be anxious and grateful at the same time.

She encourages people to have compassion and grace for themselves. Instead of ruminating, think of it as an opportunity to learn. 

 The hand to heart technique can be used to interrupt spinning thoughts, by simply placing your hand on your shoulder. The act of touching tells our nervous system we are safe and can automatically calm your mind. 

It feels weird at first, but what will you accomplish by negatively talking to yourself? It works.

Set goals that can be pretty easily achieved. Then celebrate small wins. People often set goals that are too big and hard to achieve. Instead, figure out some first steps. If you want to exercise, decide what time of day and what you are going to wear. Pare it down to increase success rather than setting a lofty goal and failing. It's not about where you'd like to be, we are working on that. But what is it for today or this week? Baby steps in the right direction leads to more success.

Form a visual picture of where you'd like to be. What does happy look like to you?

Mental health is often like physical health. One thing causes another thing to be worse, spinning in a vicious cycle. Shelley would prescribe exercise, healthy eating and journaling for all of her clients.

Her practice is called Intentional Steps. Visit her website: www.intentionalsteps.us
Go follow Shelley Fourney, Intentional Steps on Facebook and Instagram. She posts really helpful videos. 

  

The information contained in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not considered to be a substitute for medical advice. You should continue to follow up with your physician or health care provider and take medication as prescribed. Though the information in this podcast is evidence based, new research may develop and recommendations may change